STAY THERE THEN! I’M OUTTA HERE!

The amount of problems people WANT to have is unreal. I am sure I come across this so frequently as a test of my compassion, or possibly, my patience. No matter how many solutions I find myself giving people I also find myself battling with their next excuse. ‘Oh it’s not an excuse it’s a valid reason’ they will argue.

It’s interesting to me because I used to be the same. I didn’t want a solution because that would mean I could get off my bum and fix what was actually wrong in my life, myself. What I wanted was to continue to be a victim of the ‘woe is me’ virus and I had every argument under the sun as to why I was ‘stuck’ there. The whole world just worked against me, hated me, wanted me to be miserable. Now I am on the other side of this victim river where the excuses flow and everyone is controlled by the cruel current of the water, I find a new opportunity presented to me. The opportunity to take control. The opportunity to observe how I sounded living as a victim. The opportunity to deal with my former self through all of these people I am now encountering. What a stubborn little victim I was.

The point is that when you live a life where outside forces can control your reality, you are a slave to everyone and every thing. It is only when you realise you are always in complete control and that there is always a choice – whether you like the choices or not – that you can really be free. Now please don’t get me wrong, this isn’t easy and it isn’t meant to be but you will never get anywhere with the following mantras :-

-‘My boss won’t let me’
-‘It’s too big a risk’
-‘There is no other way’
-‘Nobody wants me’
-‘I don’t have time’
-‘I can’t afford it’

These are all sentences that translate to ‘I’m to scared to demand the best for myself’.

I will always try to bring out the best in people. I will always look for a way to boost people and help them to empower themselves, but, when I find myself arguing with you in defense of your own self-worth, I will give up and I will agree with your belief that you can’t do it, not because I believe that you can’t, but because you do, because if YOU don’t believe you can do something or that you are in control, it doesn’t matter one teeny tiny bit what anyone else thinks.

‘Whether you think you can or you can’t, either way, you are right.’ Henry Ford

Nothing is personal unless you say so!

No action or words from anybody are personal to you unless you decide to take them that way. When you feel someone’s actions are ‘against’ you or someone is going out of their way to ‘get at’ you then it is helpful to understand that it isn’t personal. The main reason you decide to take things personally in a bad way is because of the unhappiness that dwells within YOU, probably the unhappiness that you ignore and avoid dealing with. That person who doesn’t cooperate with you is not doing so because they are out to get you, they haven’t woken up that day deciding to take you down. They are just simply acting the way they choose to act as a reflection of how THEY feel inside, and, you in turn are choosing to take it the way you take it based on how YOU feel inside. It is your choice. When you are taking everything as a personal attack you are consuming yourself with the idea that the whole entire world is purposely trying to upset you and you are also subconsciously saying that everyone, everywhere is only ever thinking of you. You are choosing to place yourself as a victim. People revolve around themselves only. Remember this. Even when someone goes out of their way to be nasty to you it is still a reflection of how they feel about themselves. A reflection of them being threatened by you or jealous of your happiness. Taking this into consideration you can see why these people need compassion shown to them. They are showing feelings of their unhappiness and a self-assured person doesn’t need to take that personally. You too revovle around yourself only, you revolve around what is important to you. Even if this happens to be other people who you spend all your time on, that is still YOUR choice. This doesn’t mean you should tolerate people treating you with a lack of respect, you shouldn’t. It means that you do not need to defend yourself from an ‘attack’ because you can simply rise above it and see a troubled person acting out. Try to read this without taking it personally. Imagine it is written about an acquaintance that is always blaming everyone for getting at them or making their life more difficult and try to see it from the point of view that nothing, is in fact personal. If you can see any truth in this post then try to apply it to yourself and situations in your own life. If you can’t, then simply dismiss it. I won’t take it personally!

Do You?

Do you practice what you preach? Do you own yourself entirely? By that I mean do you own both the positive and negative parts of you. Everything in life has a balance so negatives are just as important as the positives. So many of us strive to be perfect, without fault, never making any mistakes. Mistakes are perfectly brilliant lessons of life. Without them we couldn’t learn anything. We don’t have to be perfectly perfect 100% of the time. We are allowed to have bad days. Sad emotions. Too much chocolate. An extra glass..ok two glasses of wine. We need to embrace the good and the bad. Being able to embrace the bad allows us to relax and enjoy the good too. I am guilty of this myself. Recently I was feeling a little lost, which led to me feeling unmotivated and stressed out. Every time someone asked me how I was feeling I would reply ‘I’m great thanks’. Now, I pride myself on being honest, always, but this was not an honest answer. Ok so I don’t need to tell every Tom, Dick and Harry my deep emotional feelings, but when my close friends are asking I should be able to express how I feel. On top of that, when my friends are feeling down I will lecture them on the importance of feeling their pain and sharing it with someone. Why do I not practice what I preach? I thought about this and realised I didn’t want to fail at being the ‘happy’ one, the ‘stable’ one. If I was feeling lost then everyone would think I was a fraud and that all my advice would be null and void because I wasn’t living proof of the perfect happiness. I found this so interesting. I took the opportunity to learn from this. Being human is hard work, we will always be tested. It is important to acknowledge your feelings and not get distracted with everyone else’s problems when you need to face your own. It is ok to feel lost. It is ok to get stressed out, to breakdown and cry sometimes. Can you recognise your behaviour? Can you take responsibility for it? That is the real challenge. Next time I am in that situation I will be sure to be honest about how I am really feeling and not be so quick to judge myself or judge how others will view me. I will do what I advise others to do.

The start of something fabulous!

Don’t squeak….Roar is a brand new lifestyle blog. Real talk about real life. Men, dating, exercise, food, friends and living in today’s world. Basically anything and everything will come up along the way with a few valuable life lessons as we go. I believe you should tell it like it is. The world is there for us to use and the best way to learn is by doing so let’s go!

We need to get involved with each other, not in a way of talking behind each other’s backs, or gossiping about someone’s recent tragedy, none of that time-wasting nonsense. What I mean is really getting involved with each other. Empowering each other. Smiling as we pass each other. Sharing each other’s successes, supporting each other’s successes. Picking each other up when we feel like we aren’t good enough, opening up and telling each other when we feel like we aren’t good enough. A world-wide tribe of authentic, passionate female warriors who are ready to inspire womankind to stand strong and believe in themselves.

We need to understand and embrace every part of ourselves so we can help other’s do the same. We have come way too far in the world to not be doing this. We need to realise that there is more than enough to go around, of everything. These days it is so easy to fall into a trap of what we think ‘society’ wants us to be. It’s time to get in touch with who we really are and what we really want, to love how different and perfectly unique we all are. That is what is important. Getting in touch with our true selves will make us unstoppable and it is only by living to our own full potential that we can help others do the same.

It is my intention to inspire as many people as possible to live as a Lioness. I am going to stop making excuses, stop being scared to fail, stop putting myself down. I have big dreams and high ambitions and I am determined to make it to the top of my mountain. Through facing my own fears and learning my own truths I can help others to do the same and in turn they will also help others and eventually, Lioness fever will spread around the world.