SECRETS

Whilst in LA a fabulous new friend of mine showed me a song by Mary Lambert called ‘Secrets’. This song put a smile on my face for a many number of reasons and before I go into these I have written the lyrics below for you to read. You can also check out the video on YouTube here – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqqqV50zaAc

Mary Lambert
“Secrets”
I’ve got bi-polar disorder
My shit’s not in order
I’m overweight
I’m always late
I’ve got too many things to say
I rock mom jeans, cat earrings
Extrapolate my feelings
My family is dysfunctional
But we have a good time killing each other

They tell us from the time we’re young
To hide the things that we don’t like about ourselves
Inside ourselves
I know I’m not the only one who spent so long attempting to be someone else
Well I’m over it

I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are (secrets are)
I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are (secrets are) So-o-o-o-o what
So what
So what
So what

I can’t think straight, I’m so gay
Sometimes I cry a whole day
I care a lot, use an analog clock
And never know when to stop
And I’m passive, aggressive
I’m scared of the dark and the dentist
I love my butt and won’t shut up
And I never really grew up

They tell us from the time we’re young
To hide the things that we don’t like about ourselves
Inside ourselves
I know I’m not the only one who spent so long attempting to be someone else
Well I’m over it

I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are (secrets are)
I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are (secrets are)
So what
So what
So what
So what
I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are (secrets are)
I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are (secrets are)
So what
So what
So what
So what

I don’t care if the world knows what my secrets are)
So what
So what
So what
So what

First of all I have to say thank you to Mary Lambert for this song. The message here is so unbelievably powerful.

Hiding who we are because we are worried about how others will judge us is actually giving other people power over you. You run the risk of someone else ‘exposing’ you into an air of humiliation and shame which then attacks our self-esteem and self-worth, simply because you do not accept these parts of yourself. If others tread on the parts of you that you are trying to hide from the world you become vulnerable. Lionesses do not give their worth to others, they know their worth and own who they are, the good bits and the bad bits.

The good news is that you can make small steps to change this right now and take your own power back. Choose something within yourself you are not comfortable with and become best friends with it, own it. It can be anything. For example, I have always wished my mouth was a little bit bigger (a lot of my friends will be laughing reading this but I mean in a physical sense). I would love to have one of those smiles that goes from ear to ear. So, with this thought in mind the statement that I would think in my head would be:
My mouth is too small, I wish it was bigger.
So if someone then says to me ‘your mouth is small isn’t it’ I will immediately blush and feel a little bit more unattractive because I agree and do not like this part of myself. But, I do not wish to give my power to others so instead I choose to say:
My mouth is in a good proportion to my face and is a very nice shape. I love that!
I have focused on the good bits. If I couldn’t think of any good bits I would simply say:
I love my mouth

The point is you have GOT TO LEARN TO LOVE YOU! This is so infinitely important that words just do not cut it. Why do you think the ‘bad’ bits are bad. Who says they are not the good bits? You do. You are the only one who can make you feel good or bad about yourself.

If someone has something nasty to say about you then why should their opinion be of more value than yours. Their opinion can only have value if you agree with it.

I am a UK size 10/12, I have curves, legs and a bum. I have fair skin and freckles and I have a good set of teeth. I eat healthy and occasionally eat too much sugar – in particular chocolate is my weakness. I am strong and getting stronger but not as strong as I would like to be. I can use my body and lift it’s weight. Sometimes I procrastinate and don’t do all the things I should do. I have had good experiences, bad experiences, good friends, bad friends. I have been a good friend and I have been a bad friend. I have broken hearts and had my heart-broken. I have succeeded and I have failed. Who knows what will happen next. I’m not worried about it and I’m not going to stop until I have tried everything I want to try. Not one person on this earth can make me feel like I am not good enough because I know that I am and not one person can tell me any of those things I wrote above are bad because I just can’t accept that. There is no good or bad there, there are only descriptive words about me. I am however always appreciative of sincere compliments and constructive criticism because they come from a place of love, consideration and compassion (besides a flattery is always welcome to the self adoring Lioness).

Think about what you say to those around you, does it help them? Make them feel good? Valued? Strong? empowered? If it doesn’t then why are you saying it? Would you want someone to tear you down? We are not here to hurt people, even if they hurt you, teach them kindness and love by using only these towards others. Nasty and cruel words come from a heart that is in pain. The same goes for the nasty and cruel words you say to yourself, heal your pain and love yourself. Every bit of you, the good and the bad are all beautiful!

What are you going to say or do differently today to show yourself how fabulous you are?

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