I WANT WHAT I’VE GOT!

What is that you want? What don’t you have that you have been wanting? I bet a list comes to mind easily? Put that list aside and now make a list of all the things that you already have that are amazing and wonderful. Every single one of them. It may start off with things that seem more important such as family, friends, pets, a roof over your head.

Wow, if you are blessed enough to have those on your list then really and truly you hold so much already. Many of my friends I consider my family and I am thankful for them everyday. I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world, would you?

Do you have a roof over your head and a warm bed? Hallelujah, there is nothing like climbing into bed after a long day. Laying your head on to the pillow and spreading out under the sheets. Gorgeous!!!!!

Ok so maybe some things that may seem a bit smaller in comparison, such as a paying job, a hobby, a big TV.

Money to be able to afford things you enjoy is a great feeling. A sense of achievement after hitting work deadlines or making a difference is really rewarding.

A hobby means you are dedicating time to yourself and your passions. The importance of this is infinitely high. We are on earth, in a body, living a life. We have to dedicate some of that time for ourselves.

A big TV? Yes!!!! Movie night. Relaxing on the sofa or in bed and snuggling up with some snacks. One of my favourite things to do.

I have just named 7 things and briefly touched on them. I could go on with this list forever. I haven’t even gone into great detail about the 7 things I have just named. I haven’t given you the name of each of my friends and why I am so thankful for them. I haven’t told you every single movie I have loved watching on my TV at home where I enjoy the roof over my head.

My point is that if you want more things to be grateful for in life or happy about, then be grateful for all the things you already have. You will be surprised at how long and detailed this list will be. By the time you finish you will realise that you already have so much that any more would simply be a blessing. You are in fact opening a doorway to allow even more to come to you. The more we focus on what have to be grateful for the more we will be given even more things to be grateful for. It’s a win-win.

What are you grateful for right now?

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It only matters what YOU think!

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(photo from anonymous source – Facebook)

It only matters that you believe in you. Don’t let others tell you what you can and can’t be, what you can or can’t achieve. Believe in yourself and be everything you ever dreamed of.

Fly!

HE DID SHE DID……TRY I DID.

Every time we enter conflict we are so quick to focus on the other person’s part. ‘She said this behind my back’ or ‘He hasn’t even tried to apologise for what he did’. Ever heard the saying ‘it takes two to tango’? There is always some truth to that. Even if you decide you ARE in the right you need to acknowledge your part in the conflict. Doing this allows you to understand the other person better and dispel some anger. It also prevents you adding fuel to a fire next time. Reality is only what we perceive it to be so we must respect that our actions and words may be perceived differently by others.

So, I hear you ask, what do I suggest you do? Next time you have any kind of conflict with someone instead of stewing over what the other person has done take responsibility for your part first. Analyze your own actions as if you were the other person. Understand what they might be feeling. Think about your actions and words and try to consider how they might make the other person feel. You might be able to see that you could have handled things differently or that you were both at fault. You might see that you actually handled things very well and the other person is victimizing themselves through projections of their own insecurities. Even if that is so you will get an understanding of that persons pain and this should at least help rid you of the anger the conflict has caused.

Anger never makes anyone feel good, bearing this in mind you can appreciate that whoever you argued with is feeling pain too, whether they admit it or not. Nobody feels good after putting someone else down, despite what they say, strength isn’t proven by attacking people. Putting others down is a need to feel more important than others and the only reason we need to feel that is if we don’t believe already that we are in fact, as good as anyone else. When we focus on other people’s actions rather than our own we distract ourselves from self growth and self-analysis and this benefits no one and drags out an upsetting situation. Always know your part in any situation and be present in your reality.

Can you think of a time that you could have handled something better?

BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND

Too often I come across women who just do not value themselves as they should, we all do it from time to time but it has got to stop. We need to be our own support system and then we can really be each others too.

Think about a time when your best friend has fallen for the wrong guy, you know he’s not worthy of her, her other friends know it and you know deep down she knows it too, but there is no stopping her. You listen to her cry down the phone about how badly he has been treating her as she wails that she doesn’t know what to do. How do you feel? What do you say to her? How often has it been one of the following:

⦁ You deserve so much better
⦁ You are amazing don’t let him make you think otherwise
⦁ Why do you put up with this, he’s never going to change
⦁ I hate seeing you this unhappy I wish you could see what I see

For our best friend we will say this over and over and over until we can say it no more. So what happens when you are in the same position. Sure your best friend says the same to you but what do YOU say to you?

What I want to know is why we can preach such good advice but we struggle to practice it. This is where we have to introduce ourselves to our own best friend voice, your inner Lioness voice (ILV). Once we give our ILV a microphone we can start walking our talk. You can listen to your ILV in your head or out loud. So often you will see me talking away to myself as if I am two people. When faced with a situation I always consult my inner Lioness to see what she has to say. The trick in doing this is to pretend your best friend is in that situation. What would you say to her. Would you question going back to the cheating boyfriend? Your first thoughts might want to excuse his behaviour – ‘it was just once’ ‘he was drunk and didn’t mean to’. Ok, let’s consult your ILV, what would you say to your best friend – ‘If he loved you he wouldn’t disrespect you’, ‘if he can do it once he can do it again’. Ok so why on earth are you going to make excuses to tolerate this behaviour? Why shouldn’t you follow your own advice? If you truly believe in what you are saying then you need to be a bit stronger and value yourself AND your advice.

So that is the challenge for this week, learning to be our own best friend and catching any damaging thoughts and putting a stop to them.

What is your ILV going to say to you first?

HAVE YOU SWEPT YOUR DOORSTEP?

Something I hear alot from people is what and who they are. A constant reminder of their qualities and traits. I often find that what people spend their time telling others that they ‘aren’t’ or ‘are’ are usually the exact type of things that THEY aren’t or are.

I also notice the things they talk about disliking in others often contribute to a big part of their own make up.

Bearing this in mind I started to observe the things I was saying to other people. I would notice things I woud say often about myself, in particular the things I would say I didn’t like in others. I actually realised I wasn’t all the things I thought I was and I saw similarities of my dislikes in myself. I noticed that some of the things I was saying about who I was were actually traits of who I wanted to be, but I wasn’t actually being them.

I feel it is so important to express the value of observing people around you. In particular when someone tries to put you down. I find it so interesting that people will subtly attack someone else for traits that they in fact have in themselves. It’s almost hypocritical except I honestly think that they believe they are different.

Being aware of this provides us with a good opportunity to be able to look inside ourselves, to grow and to learn more about who we are and why we are that way. It is also an opportunity to observe our judgement of others. Do you really know who you are or do you try to convince the world you are the way you want to be?

Easy to say, how do we do?

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(photo from anonymous source – Facebook)

Are you doing this? Are you in control of both of these in your life? If you are then please share tips on how because you could help empower a fellow lioness in training.

When you are alone you need to remember you have your own best friend inside of you that should stand up to any negativity. When you are around others you should try lifting them up by acknowledging their strengths and successes.

These are two of my ways, what are some of yours?

Naughty or Ice?

So I am sure by now everyone has heard of and possibly taken part in the ALS ice bucket challenge. It has created quite a lot of attention and lots of different opinions so I thought it would be a good topic to discuss this week.

I first started seeing some shared videos on Facebook of celebrities having buckets of ice water poured over there head. They were also nominating other people to do the same. I had no idea what it was for or what the hashtag ‘ALS’ was about. Gradually I was seeing more and more videos and soon enough people I knew were doing their own.

I then came across a video on Facebook called ‘ALS the real ice bucket challenge’ that someone had shared. Having no idea why everyone was talking about this I clicked on to it. The video was of a man talking about a condition – ALS. He begins by making a bit of joke out of pouring ice water over himself dressed in a bright bikini top and shorts. He then talks about the people in his family that have suffered and are suffering with ALS. He too suffers from the disease. He very honestly talks about caring for someone with the disease and his own fear of ALS. I was so touched by this man’s honesty I decided to read up more about ALS. Below is the link to video I am referring to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h07OY8p8Oik

To those of you who are unaware of the disease here is a very brief overview of ALS that I have borrowed from http://www.also.org If you want more information please check the website.

‘Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), often referred to as ‘Lou Gehrig’s Disease,’ is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord. Motor neurons reach from the brain to the spinal cord and from the spinal cord to the muscles throughout the body. The progressive degeneration of the motor neurons in ALS eventually leads to their death. When the motor neurons die, the ability of the brain to initiate and control muscle movement is lost. With voluntary muscle action progressively affected, patients in the later stages of the disease may become totally paralyzed.’

It is a terrifying disease that leads to an undignified dependant ending. I cannot imagine how hard it is watching a loved one go through the symptoms, let alone facing the disease yourself.

So, now we have covered the important facts I will get to my point. I have seen a lot of positive, indifferent and negative responses to the ice bucket challenge – as expected with anything that begins trending on social media. I have heard a lot of people dismiss the challenge because they disagree with everyone jumping on a trend just to ‘attention seek’ by uploading a video of themselves. I have seen a lot of people wanting to see proof of people donating money to the cause. I have seen people upload videos just to mock others taking part in the challenge and become frustrated that people have missed the point and should be just donating instead of filming themselves. I have even seen comparisons to people in Africa not having enough water whilst people are ‘wasting’ water with the challenge.

On the flip side I have seen a lot of people praise the cause and take part themselves. I have seen a lot of people get involved in learning about ALS. I have seen people try to raise awareness for other charities and foundations that are important to them. I have seen people show compassion towards others.

So which one is right?

This is what I think and before I share this with you I am not saying I am right or wrong, this is just my opinion and I would love to hear all of yours too. I am interested in the reaction that this challenge has caused so the more different opinions there are the better.

I believe that the ice bucket challenge has brought a large number of people together to stand up for something. It has been fun and people have smiled and laughed throughout it, hopefully some of the people affected by ALS have been able to laugh and smile at some of the funny videos too. People have generously donated money towards helping find a cure towards a terrible and frightening disease. Without the ice bucket challenge I would never have known what ALS is and I wouldn’t have opened my heart to want to help anyone suffering or caring for someone suffering from ALS. I wouldn’t have smiled at almost everyone I know getting a big cold shock and looking a little bit silly on a camera. I wouldn’t have felt that little bit of extra pride for my 9-year-old god-daughter standing up for something she wants to change in the world. I wouldn’t have seen extra awareness raised for the struggle to find clean water in parts of Africa. I wouldn’t have heard about some of the other important causes my friends were passionate about. I wouldn’t have felt the extra bit of faith I have been given in the human race.

Anything that raises awareness in the world and brings people together in a happy and positive light has to be doing a small amount of good in the world right? How can that be a bad thing?

What do you think about the ice bucket challenge, is it helping at all?

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