BE YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND

Too often I come across women who just do not value themselves as they should, we all do it from time to time but it has got to stop. We need to be our own support system and then we can really be each others too.

Think about a time when your best friend has fallen for the wrong guy, you know he’s not worthy of her, her other friends know it and you know deep down she knows it too, but there is no stopping her. You listen to her cry down the phone about how badly he has been treating her as she wails that she doesn’t know what to do. How do you feel? What do you say to her? How often has it been one of the following:

⦁ You deserve so much better
⦁ You are amazing don’t let him make you think otherwise
⦁ Why do you put up with this, he’s never going to change
⦁ I hate seeing you this unhappy I wish you could see what I see

For our best friend we will say this over and over and over until we can say it no more. So what happens when you are in the same position. Sure your best friend says the same to you but what do YOU say to you?

What I want to know is why we can preach such good advice but we struggle to practice it. This is where we have to introduce ourselves to our own best friend voice, your inner Lioness voice (ILV). Once we give our ILV a microphone we can start walking our talk. You can listen to your ILV in your head or out loud. So often you will see me talking away to myself as if I am two people. When faced with a situation I always consult my inner Lioness to see what she has to say. The trick in doing this is to pretend your best friend is in that situation. What would you say to her. Would you question going back to the cheating boyfriend? Your first thoughts might want to excuse his behaviour – ‘it was just once’ ‘he was drunk and didn’t mean to’. Ok, let’s consult your ILV, what would you say to your best friend – ‘If he loved you he wouldn’t disrespect you’, ‘if he can do it once he can do it again’. Ok so why on earth are you going to make excuses to tolerate this behaviour? Why shouldn’t you follow your own advice? If you truly believe in what you are saying then you need to be a bit stronger and value yourself AND your advice.

So that is the challenge for this week, learning to be our own best friend and catching any damaging thoughts and putting a stop to them.

What is your ILV going to say to you first?

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