Ok so while I am taking some much-needed time to heal and recover from Mr Disaster part 1, I am going to take the opportunity to add in some do’s and don’ts of online dating. I have many conversations with many people about dating, us single folk are all doing it after all so I am going to honour us with the title of dating professionals. There are many, many unexplainable things being done by both men and women and there are many good things. I think it is necessary to highlight – from my point of view (and maybe the views of a few other lions and lionesses I have been speaking to) some of the Do’s and Don’ts of a) online dating and b) actually being on a date. So here goes…
The topics I feel need highlighting are as follows –
- Picture choices
- ‘About me’ section
- First message
BEING ON A DATE:
- First message
- Home time
- Saying goodbye
- The ‘home ok check’
So for today let’s cover our first topic – Picture choices:
Something of a hot topic between me and my friends is to discuss picture choices on online dating sites, some of which are shockingly bad. Most dating sites have a profile in which you can describe what you are looking for, (everything I am writing about is on the basis you are looking for more than a one night stand, with the exception of tinder where you pretty much have no idea, I am going on the basis you have clearly displayed that you are looking to date). ((This may also help those of you on sites like tinder that are looking for more than some fun between the sheets with a random stranger)).
Fellas, there are some things you do well and some things that you do…..shall we politely say not so well – that leave us thinking you are morons. These are as follows:
- Every picture is a group of you and your friends – HOW DO WE KNOW WHICH ONE YOU ARE???? STOP DOING THIS! One picture with a group of friends is fine but we are not psychic. DO NOT put pictures up with your incredibly hot friend either, you are setting us up for disappointment.
- Every picture is from your last holiday in Ibiza – Ibiza does not have a reputation of people going for the rich culture, soul-searching adventures or mind stimulating and humbling opportunities. Whether or not you can find these there it has a reputation for the opposite. So wearing your ‘ I heart Ibiza’ top with glow stick halos around your head whilst pointing at your friend’s rear end that he is showing to the world and two half-naked women either side of you doesn’t scream ‘potential boyfriend’ to any respectable girl! Take them down!
- Crotch pictures – I actually cannot believe that anyone who puts these up is looking for more than sex but, goodness me, could you take them down anyway please. I can’t speak for everyone of course but I haven’t met a fellow female yet who has admitted that seeing a bulge out of your boxers on the screen of her phone really gets her going.
- Pictures with your top off – now there are some exceptions to this, if you are on a beach or doing an activity in which it makes sense you have your top off then fine, but if you are simply posing it gives an impression that you are arrogant and love yourself too much. We can see if you appear to have a good shape or not through your T-Shirt so don’t be so quick to bare-all.
- Cringy, squinty-eye selfies trying to look ‘bad’. YUK
- Pictures of you cozying up with another woman – I don’t care if it is your sister or your best friend, don’t do it, it looks like you are still hung up on an ex – that is our first thought!
The Do’s I will add in because some of you have really got the picture thing down and whether or not you have planned it that way you deserve some credit, so carry on with the following:
- Family events, weddings, christenings, your Nan’s 80th perhaps. Photos where you are dressed smart and showing that you enjoy family time!
- Pictures with your nieces and nephew’s – perhaps even your own children (if you have them), ((however, sometimes it is best not to use these as your first picture because it is nice to just see you to start with)). These clearly show us that there is a possible future and that you like children (this activates something in a woman to say you will be an appropriate mate, even if we are nowhere (NOWHERE) near ready for kids ourselves!
- Pictures of fun days out, even if they are selfies this is fine, keep them natural though ok!
The same can apply to women, ladies, no man will take you seriously and respect you if you have pictures up of you pouting like a duck straight into the lens or you are in your underwear. Caking yourself in make up screams that you hate yourself. A great tip is to ask your friends (the ones who you can trust) which photos they like of you and why, in particular if you have any close male friends they can give you some great tips and an opinion from the other side.
First impressions count as this is when we form a judgement of someone and you don’t want to give a man any reason to think you are easy purely from your photos, you will just be asking for trouble.
Now, perhaps you should think on that and in time we will get to some of the other points, meanwhile we have to meet the next date which will of course be posted next week, another boring evening of my life that was good for me polishing my conversational skills with almost mute strangers. I could honestly make good conversation with a slug!
If I have missed out any pictures that should be in the do or don’t pile please let me know below, other than that, have a great and powerful week Pride!