The perfect logic!

This was an actual conversation I had today, I laughed when she said it, not because it was funny, but because it was the most beautiful truth and it was said in the most beautiful way.





So before i give you some more frogs for the blog (by the way Mr Disaster makes a return next week) I have to cover another topic for our dating do’s and don’ts. The one and only, very important, first message. Now traditionally I believe that the man should send the first message, just because it goes back to the natural way of animals approaching each other – but that is just my opinion, it doesn’t make it right or wrong. So today’s post is aimed at you guys sending that first message.

Lets cover some of the Do’s first of all today:

  • Do use a lady’s name – this is a basic technique in building rapport with anyone, it makes the message more personal.


  • Do ask a question – it gives us something to reply to. Simple.


  • Do comment on something you have seen or read on our profile – this shows us that you are actually interested in learning about us – women love to be listened to and cared about – just as men do, so this is definitely a thumbs up.

Actually making sure you have covered all of these points in your first message gives you the best chance of an interested reply and a way to start conversation.

For example, ‘Hey Rachel, how are you? That picture of you sitting on the floor with that old man is so cool, where was that?’

Unless you are unfortunately not my type at all then why wouldn’t I reply to that? So simple yet so effective. Oh and if you want to know more about that picture…well…I’ve just taught you how to find out!

Now for the Don’ts:

  • Don’t use a pet name i.e. babe, baby, darling, sweetheart and my most hated of all time ‘luv’.


  • Don’t simply write ‘Hey’! Stop being so lazy and add ‘how are you?’ at the end of it at least!


  • Don’t comment on the fact that you are the one to message first – If you are going to be bitter then don’t message at all, otherwise, get over it, that is the way it should be!


  • Don’t copy and paste a message – we can tell!


  • Don’t say ‘I don’t usually do this’ or ‘I’m new to this’ – stop being embarrassed about being online. We are there too, just get on with the message and accept your online dating presence!

I understand that maybe you are having to write a lot of first messages that don’t go anywhere but you don’t have to write an essay, just put a tiny bit of effort into each one, it will pay off eventually.

My friend had a message sent to her at lunch time once saying ‘hey babe you in bed?’ – Excuse me? At lunch time? In the week? Why on earth would you ask that and what business is it of yours. It is safe to say he never got a reply.

Now understandably on tinder there is a lot less information than on other sites so your first message may seem a little more limited but just use your brain. You can still string a polite first sentence together as I did above. I have had several great messages on Tinder that refer to one of my pictures and it is always a great conversation starter. On some of the more complexed dating sites such as and Plenty Of Fish there is a whole load of information you can choose from. Just pick something that interests you and incorporate it into that first message you send.

Ladies, back to you, if a man sends you a shoddy first message, don’t reply, or at the very least make sure his second message has a bit of substance. If he is not willing to make more of an effort than ‘hey’ or ‘hi babe’ what is the point. People are always their best at the beginning so don’t settle for pure shod (yes it is a word because I used it in a sentence). If you are willing to make an effort for a guy, make sure he is making an effort for you.

I had some more great ‘about me’ sections sent to me this week. It was great to give you all some advice. If you want advice on yours you can email me at and don’t worry it will stay completely between us!

Good luck Pride and let me know what ghastly things you are coming across on your online dating journey’s!

We ALL got that boom boom!!!!!

Ok so this has been bugging me for a little while now and I am bugged enough that I want to write about it.

I am sure you have all heard Meghan Trainor’s song ‘All about that bass’. Now, whilst I love girls who are promoting self-love I just can’t get down with any kind of ’empowerment’ that is achieved by the need to be better than someone else. First let’s have a look at her lyrics:

“All About That Bass”

Because you know I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass


Yeah, it’s pretty clear, I ain’t no size two

But I can shake it, shake it Like I’m supposed to do

‘Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase

And all the right junk in all the right places


I see the magazine workin’ that Photoshop

We know that shit ain’t real C’mon now, make it stop

If you got beauty, beauty, just raise ’em up

‘Cause every inch of you is perfect From the bottom to the top


Yeah, my mama she told me don’t worry about your size

She says, “Boys like a little more booty to hold at night.”

You know I won’t be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll

So if that’s what you’re into then go ahead and move along


Because you know I’m All about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass


Hey! I’m bringing booty back

Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that

No, I’m just playing. I know you think you’re fat

But I’m here to tell ya Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top


Yeah my mama she told me don’t worry about your size

She says, “Boys like a little more booty to hold at night.”

You know I won’t be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll

So if that’s what you’re into then go ahead and move along


Because you know I’m All about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass


…………….and it goes on to repeat itself several times.


Now first of all everyone has the right to express their opinion, after all that is exactly what I am doing too. I just think she has such a great framework of a song and has ever so slightly ruined it by creating a divide with women.

The main reasons for this are the following lyrics:


Yeah, it’s pretty clear, I ain’t no size two But I can shake it, shake it Like I’m supposed to do ‘Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase And all the right junk in all the right places


Girls, if you happen to be a healthy and happy size 2 then that is what you are supposed to shake. We are not ‘supposed’ to be anything but healthy and happy. Girls with a bit of ‘junk’ are not on another team to extra slim girls. We are all on team ‘Girl’.

All boys like different things so not all boys will chase that ‘boom boom’, besides, most ‘boys’ (men if we raise our standards slightly) will be most attracted to a woman who is confident in herself and strong minded. You should work on your body for you and only you, a guy will chase you more so for putting yourself first.


She then goes on to bring up such an amazing point and absolutely smashes it with the next verse:


I see the magazine workin’ that Photoshop We know that shit ain’t real C’mon now, make it stop If you got beauty, beauty, just raise ’em up ‘Cause every inch of you is perfect From the bottom to the top


Absolutely! I couldn’t agree more. What a great message. Every inch of you is perfect, so love yourself and treat yourself with nothing but love and respect. This is irrelevant of being bigger or smaller.


Then the bridge is simply her opinion on people who are trying to fit ‘perfect’, it’s just saying move along if you are looking for a human barbie, which is fair enough because she is simply saying that isn’t her.


So my last piece of song to dissect is:


I’m bringing booty back Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that No, I’m just playing. I know you think you’re fat But I’m here to tell ya Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top


To nitpick ever so slightly, booty has been brought already, long ago by the likes of J-Lo and Beyonce and then of course Nicki Minaj (real or not). Booty is around and in fashion so….are you bringing it back? I am not so sure. Now, she says she is just playing after calling slim girls ‘skinny bitches’ but, come on, you are saying every inch is perfect and then again separating slim girls from curvy girls.


All of us are amazing. Skinny, Big, Curvy, Straight, big on top, big on bottom, small on top, small on bottom. I love that the world is starting to highlight that the perfect body comes in all shapes and sizes but that doesn’t mean we should tarnish any other shape by doing so just because it was the last in fashion. What we should aim to do is preach the importance of empowering each other for being true to ourselves and loving ourselves and each other. We do NOT reach empowerment by being better than someone else, we just stay in a vicious circle of low self-esteem.


So, I ask all of you beautiful Lionesses and of course Lions, look for the beauty in others and praise them for it, by doing so you will find even more beauty in yourself.


Meghan Trainor has released a great song with what I am sure was great intent, I just think we need to make ourselves one big massive group, or pride if you will, of perfectly, beautifully different and unique Lionesses.


What do you think Pride?

A little bit of crazy!

So I actually had some fun this week helping some of with you with your profiles, some really great ‘about me’s’ coming together and some really funny reads. Most importantly you are sounding like Lionesses. Keep them coming!

So on to our next disaster. As I do on occasion I decided to disappear for a month and go and see Thailand and Bali with a friend. The week before I left I started talking to a particularly nice looking guy who was a personal trainer (normally I keep away from PT’s having worked as one myself but this one was very pretty). He was polite and charming and asked if we could meet up the following week. I told him I was away for a month and he asked if we could keep in touch while I was away which was sweet.

Whilst I was away he would send me the occasional message asking how I was getting on and asking for some pictures of the landscapes. This was a nice request because it was something he was interested in and enjoyed seeing, he was taking an interest in my trip and he wasn’t asking me to send a load of pics of myself – which would have completely put me off of him.

I didn’t overhear from him either which was just as well because I was living in paradise but he was in contact enough so I looked forward to a message from him. I had something nice to look forward to going back home.

When I got home he didn’t waste any time arranging a day for us to go and have a drink. We met up and managed to park next to each other. He was even better looking in real life and greeted me with a hug. We walked into the bar and he got us a drink and we sat down. He didn’t once take his coat off which was a bit strange but it was winter.

The conversation just flowed which was nice, he actually had depth and substance and asked a lot of questions. We were laughing and talking so much that before we knew it the place was closing. We walked back to our cars and he hugged me goodbye – most importantly he didn’t try to kiss me on the first date! He messaged me later on saying he had a nice time and we arranged to meet again at the weekend. Amazing, a date that actually went well!

That weekend he messaged me to tell me he wouldn’t know for sure if he was free because his Uncle was in hospital and being moved to a hospital further away, he didn’t know what time he would be back and asked to let me know. We didn’t meet up. He messaged me to rearrange. You can never question a hospital visit – even if they give you that suspicious feeling you just have to accept it, but it was giving me a suspicious feeling.

So we came to the next day we were supposed to meet up. I didn’t hear anything from him. Nothing. Irritated, I messaged him nearer the time – something a woman should NOT have to do. I heard nothing. So I made other plans and went to see a friend. It was so strange, he didn’t contact me or reply, had he just lost interest?

The next day I received a message ‘so I had the worst day yesterday’. ‘Great do I care?’ Is what I should have said but I was unfortunately alot nicer at the time so I asked what happened and he called me. He explained how there was a load of stuff that happened at work and that he was trying to be pushed out of the gym and people were blaming him for stuff that he didn’t do and his manager was trying to set him up and he was just so angry after it all and bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! I AM SORRY, YOU WERE JUST SO ANGRY YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME????? I was not impressed at all. After him going on and on about his ‘woe is me’ story he said ‘I need to make it up to you, what happened wasn’t cool, are you free tomorrow night so we can meet up?’ I reluctantly agreed (idiot) and said I would give him one more chance (idiot again). We set a time and place to meet.

So the next day came and again I hadn’t heard from him, so I messaged him to confirm. He said could we make it an hour later he needed to get in the bath he was so tired he had slept. WHAT???? I said to him if he was so tired we could always give it a miss. He responded by telling me that it would probably be best as he was so angry from more issues at work he felt like he just wanted to punch and smash things up……! I instantly pictured our wedding and a life of happiness with this man……..or rather I rolled my eyes with boredom – what on earth? You just want to punch and smash things up? Do you expect sympathy? I never spoke to him again. I actually judge myself for giving him a second chance and wish I could say it was the last time I tolerated such poor behaviour from a male, thankfully for you guys it isn’t so there are still some very ridiculous stories to tell you.

One thing I have learnt ladies, is that when a man is truly interested in you he will make the effort and do everything he can not to let you down. If you find yourself hearing excuses and being messed around just cut him loose. You are better than that and deserve more. He should be trying to impress you and show you how valuable you are. If he isn’t then he isn’t invested and you are setting yourself up for misery. Always remember – when the heart wants something it finds a thousand ways, when it doesn’t it finds a thousand excuses’. That is the most truthful thing I have learnt.

Another extremely valuable lesson I have learnt and will at some point go into greater detail about is to always trust your instinct. Our intuition is there for a reason. Listen to it and let it guide you. Don’t give away too much too soon, time will tell you everything you need to know but never ignore your instincts. They are there for a reason and are never wrong – paranoia can be wrong but your instincts – never!


About Me section:

Ok so I realise for today’s topic there can’t be too many restrictions because the ‘About Me’ section of one’s profile is very personal and we are all very different, but I have to highlight at least some of the definite faux pas’ I have seen on online dating profiles.

First I would like to highlight my Tinder ‘find of the week’. Yes pride, this was my favourite, short but sweet, headline on Tinder:

‘Ride it like you stole it’

Well as you can imagine I immediately swiped right in hopes that I get to meet this Prince Charming and introduce him to my nearest and dearest…..OK so maybe I didn’t but it definitely got a good chuckle and a mention so good for him.

Now we have to remember that dating is supposed to be fun and exciting. We don’t want to put anything negative in our profiles because that is starting off on the wrong foot completely, so fella’s, comments in your profile such as these may not be the charming words your new lady wants to hear:

  • ‘If you ain’t gona say hi don’t bother swiping’
  • ‘Don’t wait for me to message you, come and say hi, I don’t bite’
  • ‘No negative people please’
  • ‘If you are not planning to meet up don’t waste my time’

In fact comments such as these can make girls dismiss your profile immediately. We are all aware that there are some time wasters on online dating sites, just as there are rude and vulgar people, even several outright crazies, but, there are some nice and normal people out there too so forget about the ones that are no good. Hanging on to them so much so that the frustration of them is included in your personal profile shows that you hold a grudge – an unattractive quality in anyone.

These two comments are also a visual display of your insecurities:

  • ‘If you don’t look like your pictures, your buying the drinks until you do’.
  • ‘We can say we met on the train’

Guys, come on. What kind of lady is going to be reeled in by the top comment, and why on earth would you sit and get drunk with a liar? Your paranoia is not going to have us falling into your arms. You may aswell write ‘I’m really scared that you will be ugly and I am going to look like an idiot’, you don’t need to worry about looking like an idiot, that comment has done that for you. The second comment just implies you are embarrassed about online dating, again, that gives us an impression that you are overly bothered by what the rest of the world think of you, indicating nothing but low self-esteem and fear – I don’t know about the rest of you ladies but those are not on the top of my list for favourite qualities in a man.

Look at this one I found earlier on POF:

Have a few mates on here and they said its good so I’m giving it a go. Looking for a genuine girl with a good sense of humour who does not think she’s the best thing in the world.! I’m think of myself of being quite funny, always up for a laugh and doing something different, I’m into all types of music and I enjoy drinking and socialising with my mates. If your reading this then send me a message. 🙂

Ok there are 3 things wrong with this

  1. ‘who does not think she’s the best thing in the world!’
  2. I’m think of myself.
  3. If your reading this then send me a message.

The overall statement is not that bad, it’s quite short and sweet but why do you have to highlight that you don’t want someone who thinks she’s the best in the world? Firstly you should want a woman who values herself – yes I know what he means but this Negative Nancy could have just left it out. It implies that you are going to see any self value as shallow and egotistical. No one has time for an emotionally unstable, over proud man – sorry!

Just go back and read your profile out loud to yourself – ‘I’m think of myself’, I am almost certain that he wouldn’t say that in a sentence so just proofread your words would you!  (I really hope I haven’t made any errors in this post – haha the shame!)

Change the 3rd one to something like ‘If you like what you are reading then it would be great to hear from you’ – that sounds nice. Just because I am reading your profile it does not mean that I will want to message you, just think how the words will sound to someone who doesn’t know you, (am I being too picky now?).

Just be you, write a bit about what you enjoy, places you have been, the things you consider good about yourself. The right kind of people will find you and the wrong ones will soon disappear anyway. What you think about you bring about so don’t project negativity on your profile.

Ladies, I can’t simply give the guys a good telling off when I have seen some frightful things from you too. My favourite read of all time was a profile of someone I know. Their profile was great, it really summed up who they were, it was classy and sweet and witty…….and then it was ruined by one sentence:


‘Yes, in case you couldn’t tell I do prefer a chocolate man’.


Are you kidding me? It’s fine to have a type, when you are searching through profiles you can select your type down to every nitty-gritty detail, but come on really, putting that you prefer ‘a CHOCOLATE man’ on your profile? That gave me a laugh if nothing else. Oh and in case you were wondering, it did not invite a string of perfect suitors into her life, quite the opposite.

I came across this statement on a woman’s profile earlier:

Hey, been here before came back as im bored,not gonna ramble for ages about random rubbish,im pretty chilled and love relaxing, i work hard yea im boring myself already so ill shut up aha x

You are here because you are bored? I don’t know if this is just me but someone who is bored in life is not living. Your world is a reflection of you. If you are bored get up and live. To then say ‘yea im boring myself already so ill shut up aha’ – I mean, seriously, what? That translates to ‘I really don’t like myself so I am hoping someone else will like me to make me feel worth something’. You cannot advertise how much you dislike yourself and expect someone to respect you when you are publicly disrespecting yourself.

I could go on about this subject for a very long time. Your profile is similar to a CV. You wouldn’t write the following in your personal statement on your Curriculum Vitae to impress a potential employer:


‘Yeh I only work because I have to, sometimes I call in sick because I fancy a day off. I will try to do as little as possible. But I am fun to go out drinking with’.


You just wouldn’t do it would you. You need to set your standards high and publicly declaring (even in disguise) your lack of self value instantly sets low standards.

Anyone who would like help with their profile is more than welcome to contact me. You can email me confidentially at

Next we can go on a date with the hot personal trainer, who wanted to meet me but I was leaving the country for a month, so he kept in contact, was very polite, very interested in me and full of anger issues…..Great!!!!!

Until next time Pride!

Yes Miss!


Inspire others to shine their light. By you living a life of truth and happiness you help give others the courage to do the same. You are a teacher and your actions are lessons to the world. Think about what you are teaching others.

Are you everything you want to be? If not, start being, you got this!


So after some time to heal and relax and go on a couple of lame dates that aren’t even worth the story I decided it was time to get myself back out there, into the big scary world of dating. I chose the same online dating site I went to last time, the oh so glorious POF. Only this time I chose some normal and natural pictures:  A nice one of just me, one of me out having fun, one of me balancing on a car tyre (I had started an exercise class using all car and lorry tyres, besides it was me looking my worst and people need to see me and love me that way) and one of me and a friend. I chose pictures that were plain and simple. I wrote my profile out, I didn’t tell my life story but I summed up who I was shortly and sweetly.

Being a female on these sites means that your are pretty much guaranteed to have messages pouring in. Again a lot of them will be hopeless: ‘Hi’, ‘Hey babe’ ‘I heard there is a party in your pants this weekend and I have a VIP ticket’, you know the usual rubbish you wouldn’t reply too. I had decided that I was going to be a bit fussy and wait to find someone polite, respectful and nice. I have a rule on these sites to never message first. Maybe I am a bit old-fashioned but I think it’s nice for a man to approach a woman, kind of the natural order of things. So I would look through the messages and if someone had bothered to show me they had read my profile or say something nice or funny I would check out their profile.

One guy had sent me a message about my tyre balancing picture. I looked at his profile, it was clear he was in the army and his pictures were all nice and respectable, there were photos of him in his uniform, out with friends, being active – all acceptable images. So we had a bit of conversation about my class and he told me he was a PTI – which basically means he was a personal trainer for the army.

There wasn’t too much excitement through our messages and often I wouldn’t reply simply because there was nothing to reply to but he was polite and did make an effort. Eventually he asked me out for a drink and I accepted, why not, he was nice enough.

He lived quite far away and he suggested we meet somewhere a lot closer to me than to him which I thought was sweet, he found a bar, sent me the website link for it and we arranged a time.

I always get pre date nerves, it’s a feeling I quite enjoy now, those butterflies in your stomach as you fret about the first meet. I found the bar and found parking. I was a little bit early so I waited nervously in my car. I rang him on the way into the bar and he said he was walking in, I looked around and couldn’t see him. I told him I was at the bar and he said he was also at the bar……well why can’t I see him then???? He wasn’t being very helpful on the phone so I asked the barman what road we were on and told him to do the same, there were three of the same bar in close proximity to one another and we had turned up to two different ones. He tried to make a joke that he had sent me the link as if to blame me…..Really? Don’t you think I used that link to get this address??? I followed your instructions! Of course it is my fault!!!! I told him to wait where he was as I knew the area better (my sat nav did anyway) and I would be there soon.

I finally turned up at the right place and he was waiting at the bar for me. He was a good-looking guy and dressed nicely. Ok this could be good. He got us both a drink and we went and sat down. He wasn’t very talkative and seemed a little bit shy so I went straight into rambling mode and fired questions at him. He was a sweet guy, he had some fun stories and his job was quite interesting. He kept going back to my tyre class and giving me suggestions for different exercises I could use in it. ‘Ok, great thanks’ it was really nice of him to help…..he had lots of different ideas ‘Yes I already have that exercise….and that one….and that one…..oh sod it just pretend you have never heard of these exercises before, he clearly doesn’t think you have a clue what you are doing’………..he really wanted to help me with my class……’oh man I have written out this class and been teaching it just fine, I didn’t come here for research’. I think it was down to his nerves that he spoke so much about fitness with me, it was a safety net for him and something we could both relate to but it was boring me to the ground. He was talking to me like I had no idea what I was doing, telling me what I could do rather than actually finding out anything about what I was already doing – if he had then he wouldn’t be suggesting all the ideas I was already using. I wasn’t here doing market research so I was starting to drift off in to my own thoughts.


I couldn’t spend the evening listening to this so I decided to steer the conversation in a new direction (one really effective tool to do this is to ask a man a lot of questions about himself and then seem impressed any chance you get. This is fun for you too as you get to put your acting skills to the test and have some fun) It was easy to seem impressed with this guy’s stories because he had been in the army for a very long time, so all I had to do was ask him about things he had been through and then seem worried or scared by the story followed by a ‘your so brave’ facial expression or response.

Still, after some time even that was boring me, I looked at my watch and figured I could get out of there within 30 minutes without looking rude, he started to tell me about where he was stationed now and that he often gets to meet the royal family and how everyone acts around them (oh no Rach, just keep acting like an impressed female), I was bored and couldn’t be bothered to entertain this boring guy anymore so it was time to be me again “I could never do what you do, I could never act extra polite to someone just because they are ‘royal’, to me everyone is the same, like I am about to curtsey just because someone wears a crown…..” and I went on and on about how no life is more important than another and how no other human can really tell another what to do. He was looking at me with one of two looks:

Look A – Wow this girl is rebellious and fun, I kinda like how crazy she is it’s really impressive, she is bringing my soul to life right now. Thank you God for sending me on this date, please let me be worthy of more time spent basking in her greatness.


Look B – Is this girl for real, my life is spent taking orders and I am disciplined and organised, this girl is a liability and sounds like she could do with a good dose of discipline herself, wow if she was under my order she wouldn’t last 5 minutes, she can’t be serious, get me the hell out of here.

I am going to assume it was Look A, but, considering we didn’t speak again after that evening I am willing to accept that I could possibly be mistaken. I wasn’t upset though, that guy was so boring. Being able to control a conversation so easily doesn’t interest me. Being able to manipulate a situation isn’t fun when it is with a potential partner. We were just completely different people and that was that.

Often it is easy to take it personally when you don’t hear from someone again, we can question why and wonder what is wrong with us. It is so important to remember that what will be will be and what isn’t meant to be, won’t. It is as simple as that. The universe has its own little way of making sure that we have exactly what we need and it takes away what we don’t. Accepting this will save you from a heap of self-doubt and mouse-type thoughts. If someone is meant to be in your life they will, don’t try to force it.

So I definitely need a nap now after remembering that soul sucking evening and then we have to cover our next topic on our dating do’s and don’ts because there are a lot of topics that desperately need covering.

Until next time pride!