DATING DO’S AND DON’TS – PART 2

About Me section:

Ok so I realise for today’s topic there can’t be too many restrictions because the ‘About Me’ section of one’s profile is very personal and we are all very different, but I have to highlight at least some of the definite faux pas’ I have seen on online dating profiles.

First I would like to highlight my Tinder ‘find of the week’. Yes pride, this was my favourite, short but sweet, headline on Tinder:

‘Ride it like you stole it’

Well as you can imagine I immediately swiped right in hopes that I get to meet this Prince Charming and introduce him to my nearest and dearest…..OK so maybe I didn’t but it definitely got a good chuckle and a mention so good for him.

Now we have to remember that dating is supposed to be fun and exciting. We don’t want to put anything negative in our profiles because that is starting off on the wrong foot completely, so fella’s, comments in your profile such as these may not be the charming words your new lady wants to hear:

• ‘If you ain’t gona say hi don’t bother swiping’
• ‘Don’t wait for me to message you, come and say hi, I don’t bite’
• ‘No negative people please’
• ‘If you are not planning to meet up don’t waste my time’

In fact comments such as these can make girls dismiss your profile immediately. We are all aware that there are some time wasters on online dating sites, just as there are rude and vulgar people, even several outright crazies, but, there are some nice and normal people out there too so forget about the ones that are no good. Hanging on to them so much so that the frustration of them is included in your personal profile shows that you hold a grudge – an unattractive quality in anyone.

These two comments are also a visual display of your insecurities:

• ‘If you don’t look like your pictures, your buying the drinks until you do’.
• ‘We can say we met on the train’

Guys, come on. What kind of lady is going to be reeled in by the top comment, and why on earth would you sit and get drunk with a liar? Your paranoia is not going to have us falling into your arms. You may aswell write ‘I’m really scared that you will be ugly and I am going to look like an idiot’, you don’t need to worry about looking like an idiot, that comment has done that for you. The second comment just implies you are embarrassed about online dating, again, that gives us an impression that you are overly bothered by what the rest of the world think of you, indicating nothing but low self-esteem and fear – I don’t know about the rest of you ladies but those are not on the top of my list for favourite qualities in a man.

Look at this one I found earlier on POF:

Have a few mates on here and they said its good so I’m giving it a go. Looking for a genuine girl with a good sense of humour who does not think she’s the best thing in the world.! I’m think of myself of being quite funny, always up for a laugh and doing something different, I’m into all types of music and I enjoy drinking and socialising with my mates. If your reading this then send me a message. 🙂

Ok there are 3 things wrong with this

1. ‘who does not think she’s the best thing in the world!’
2. I’m think of myself.
3. If your reading this then send me a message.

The overall statement is not that bad, it’s quite short and sweet but why do you have to highlight that you don’t want someone who thinks she’s the best in the world? Firstly you should want a woman who values herself – yes I know what he means but this Negative Nancy could have just left it out. It implies that you are going to see any self value as shallow and egotistical. No one has time for an emotionally unstable, over proud man – sorry!

Just go back and read your profile out loud to yourself – ‘I’m think of myself’, I am almost certain that he wouldn’t say that in a sentence so just proofread your words would you!  (I really hope I haven’t made any errors in this post – haha the shame!)

Change the 3rd one to something like ‘If you like what you are reading then it would be great to hear from you’ – that sounds nice. Just because I am reading your profile it does not mean that I will want to message you, just think how the words will sound to someone who doesn’t know you, (am I being too picky now?).

Just be you, write a bit about what you enjoy, places you have been, the things you consider good about yourself. The right kind of people will find you and the wrong ones will soon disappear anyway. What you think about you bring about so don’t project negativity on your profile.

Ladies, I can’t simply give the guys a good telling off when I have seen some frightful things from you too. My favourite read of all time was a profile of someone I know. Their profile was great, it really summed up who they were, it was classy and sweet and witty…….and then it was ruined by one sentence:

 

‘Yes, in case you couldn’t tell I do prefer a chocolate man’.

 

Are you kidding me? It’s fine to have a type, when you are searching through profiles you can select your type down to every nitty-gritty detail, but come on really, putting that you prefer ‘a CHOCOLATE man’ on your profile? That gave me a laugh if nothing else. Oh and in case you were wondering, it did not invite a string of perfect suitors into her life, quite the opposite.

I came across this statement on a woman’s profile earlier:

Hey, been here before came back as im bored,not gonna ramble for ages about random rubbish,im pretty chilled and love relaxing, i work hard yea im boring myself already so ill shut up aha x

You are here because you are bored? I don’t know if this is just me but someone who is bored in life is not living. Your world is a reflection of you. If you are bored get up and live. To then say ‘yea im boring myself already so ill shut up aha’ – I mean, seriously, what? That translates to ‘I really don’t like myself so I am hoping someone else will like me to make me feel worth something’. You cannot advertise how much you dislike yourself and expect someone to respect you when you are publicly disrespecting yourself.

I could go on about this subject for a very long time. Your profile is similar to a CV. You wouldn’t write the following in your personal statement on your Curriculum Vitae to impress a potential employer:

 

‘Yeh I only work because I have to, sometimes I call in sick because I fancy a day off. I will try to do as little as possible. But I am fun to go out drinking with’.

 

You just wouldn’t do it would you. You need to set your standards high and publicly declaring (even in disguise) your lack of self value instantly sets low standards.

Anyone who would like help with their profile is more than welcome to contact me. You can email me confidentially at mountainess1@gmail.com.

Next we can go on a date with the hot personal trainer, who wanted to meet me but I was leaving the country for a month, so he kept in contact, was very polite, very interested in me and full of anger issues…..Great!!!!!

Until next time Pride!