This is of course, one very important part of online dating, it is the only thing we have to build an idea of what the photograph of you is actually like as a real person. There seem to be quite a few patterns in many conversations online, some of them are good, many of them are bad.
So for our lists:
- Ask questions – Take an interest in getting to know who we are.
- Pay an occasional compliment – We are women after all and we enjoy being adored….just a little.
- Make jokes – Every woman loves a man who can make her laugh.
- Ask us out – We are not looking for a pen pal, having said that don’t ask us within half an hour of chatting, give it a few days at least to make sure we get on.
These may seem like obvious points but believe me, so many men could do with a course in how to do just these few. I have actually gotten to a point now where I do not reply to someone if they do not ask a question or say something worthwhile, if you can’t be bothered to make good conversation then be very assured, neither can I! Ok, now the don’ts:
- Be too proud – so many of you are so proud that you can’t take a joke or loosen up enough to have fun in a conversation, it’s boring and you look insecure and yes, we can see you have too much pride, it’s not a secret. Dating is fun so enjoy it.
- Talk only about yourself – if this is all you are interested in may I suggest a conversation with a mirror instead?
- Shower us with compliments – It becomes uncomfortable, saying something nice every now and again is sweet, saying something nice every other message becomes awkward.
- Bring up sex too soon – If you want a lady then treat her as such, don’t make crude suggestions before you have, at the very least, learnt her boundaries. You might be making her feel uncomfortable.
- Make assumptions – You are just reading words, please remember that, you are CHOOSING what tone and voice goes with those words. Too often you fellas can be very uptight and sensitive to our jokes and don’t actually get that we are having a laugh with you, please realise this is your pride getting defensive, it is such a mood killer when you then tell us to ‘calm down’ or ‘loosen up’ when, in fact, we are joking. This is your own assumption, more than likely based on women you have experienced before. Why don’t YOU lighten up a little and assume we are not being miserable. Most girls know how to handle a bit of ‘banter’ you know!
- Pressure us for our number – This is my pet hate on online dating sites and I am sure many of you girls have heard this so many times mid conversation with a seemingly decent man: ‘Anyway I am deleting this profile tonight so perhaps I can have your number’. Why on earth would you delete a profile midway through a conversation WITH SOMEONE YOU ARE GETTING ON WITH???????? I think I am more frustrated with the fact that you think we are stupid enough to believe your stupidity! Girls, please, please, please don’t give them your number if they ask like this, tell them you don’t like handing your number out too soon, don’t explain it, just say that and nothing more. Watch most of them keep that profile they were ‘oh so desperate to delete’ just a little longer.
- Lie – Seems obvious I know but guys you do it so often, most of you suck at lying and on top of that what is the point? Lies are always found out and it is no way to start a relationship of any kind. Also, most of the time we can tell you are lying and you are only kidding yourselves. This goes for both men and women too, lying only harms yourself, live truthfully.
It needs to be remembered that meeting someone online is the same as meeting them anywhere else. You still need to stick to your own personal morals and principles and the fact of the matter is that it is even easier for a man to approach you and talk to you online, it takes less effort than being face to face and is a lot less nerve-racking, so make sure they are worth it!
Next I do believe it is our first introduction to The Running Man.
Happy chatting pride!