We all have hope don’t we? We hope for the best, we hope for each other, we hope to win the lottery, hope to be successful and we hope to find love.
Without hope where would we be? Hope leads us, fuels us, makes us strong and keeps us going through dark times. Until hope is lost we don’t give up. We can’t.
Let’s take it down a scale. Think about a friend of yours who has or is wasting all her time on a guy that just does not deserve her. Think how you feel hearing how he treats her bad and she excuses him, justifies his behaviour, cries over him or works out a way to change the situation. Frustrating isn’t it?
Now think of a time that you have lowered your standards for someone who didn’t deserve it…..come on we have all done it. Think about how you kept trying to find a way to make it work. How you told everyone and yourself he wasn’t like the rest of them and you were meant to be. How much the idea of losing him hurt. I am sure you can now sympathise with that friend you just thought of a little more can’t you?
I want you to think about what it was that got you out of there. Made you walk away. I then want you to think about the moment you finally got over them. Moved on. The moment you no longer dreamed about them returning on a white horse and making everything ok again. Why did that happen?
One of the reasons…..because hope was gone.
Not all hope was lost, I am not saying that for a second. We always have hope, but what we hoped for changed. In order for us to move on we have to hope for something else, something better and through that we develop the faith and motivation to seek nothing less.
Every ending can be hard. It can leave us feeling lost, lonely and scared but until we lose the hope, we will still be attached to the situation. So how do we lose hope for a bad situation? If only it were that easy to switch off. Well the answer is quite simple. We will lose it, when we lose it. The quickest way is not to fight it. Allow yourself to pine for someone, cry over someone and wish things could be better, but, acknowledge that it is hope doing that. Hope has to run its course. It has to try out every road and possible way of making things right again.
Give yourself targets. Know that one week from now you will have less hope and therefore feel better. You will also start putting your hope on better things. A sort of ‘hope-transer’ if you will. Let yourself feel every emotion that comes with it but be firm in your decisions. If someone is bad for you don’t give your time to them because you feel alone without them. Let the pain wash through and trust that the hope you have for them will leave and go towards hoping for better things for you. This will motivate you to take better action for yourself.
I have hope for me. I have hope for all of you.
Hoping you have a great week Pride. x