Keep to your word

How many times have you said one of the following:

  • I am going to eat healthy
  • I am going to exercise today
  • I am going to stop smoking
  • I am going to clear out this room in the house
  • I am going to chase my dreams tomorrow

How many times have you found a reason not to stick to the thing you have promised yourself?

How many times is it for one of the following reasons:

  • I’m too busy
  • I’m too tired
  • I can just do it tomorrow
  • I had to help one of my friends
  • I need to wait until I’m in the right frame of mind
  • It won’t make a difference
  • I don’t really want to change

You are the only person that can control your world and each time you make an excuse as to why you aren’t going to do something that YOU want to do you are holding yourself back. There is a simple way to fix this and the formula is below:

Decide to do something – Do It – If it feels hard – Still do it – If you feel tired – Just do it anyway – I you feel like giving up – Don’t.

You have to stand strong. Imagine you are telling off a child who is about to draw on the wall the conversation might go something like this:

you: Don’t you even think about drawing on that wall.

Child: (Goes to draw on wall).

You: I’m warning you, don’t draw on that wall.

Child: (Looks at wall thinking about what to do).

You: If you draw on that wall you won’t be allowed any treats.

Child: (Still goes to draw on wall)

You: (Take crayons off of child and send them to the naughty step).

Imagine the child is the part of your mind trying to give in to the easy option, the one saying ‘it can all start tomorrow, don’t worry about today’. You have to activate your ‘parent’ voice. Don’t let that child draw on the wall – Don’t let yourself de-commit to your self promises. You won’t gain ANYTHING from doing so. But you will gain SO much from standing strong and doing the things that you say you are going to do. It will start to become a habit that you are motivated and you will find it easier and easier to stick to your goals.

Be that person. Just be it. No saying ‘yeh but’, no lame excuses, no dramatic reasons why you can’t. Just. Do. It.

Separating the winners, Pride, oh won’t you climb with me!

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HATE YOURSELF BEAUTIFUL

So there seems to be this worldwide phenomenon, a way of working towards the ideal you. You can reach utter perfection just by following this simple tip. All you have to do is hate yourself perfect. How on earth can I reach the perfect me I hear you ask? Well I will tell you:

  • Feel too fat? Just hate every inch of you that you think is fat!
  • Feel too thin? Just hate all the skinniest parts of you, look at each rib in disgust!
  • Feel too tall? Look at all of those that are shorter than you and put them higher up than you in worth!
  • Feel too pale? Look at yourself in the mirror and point out how disgusting you are
  • Feel you aren’t smart? Easy, envy all those that you think are clever and tell yourself you are stupid!

Does the above work well for an advert? No? There is something wrong with this tactic? Are you telling me you wouldn’t go and see a ‘hate yourself perfect’ life coach????? Well there goes that money-making scheme!

The thing is though, nearly everybody uses this technique in some part of their lives to motivate them to change. Here is the thing though:

YOU CANNOT HATE YOURSELF TO IMPROVE!

This means:

  • You cannot hate yourself healthy
  • You cannot hate yourself happy
  • You cannot hate yourself beautiful
  • You cannot hate yourself to success

For a start each of these goals listed above mean something different to everyone. What you think is beautiful is the complete opposite of beauty to someone else. What you think it means to be healthy is the complete opposite to someone else. What you think it means to be happy is the complete opposite to someone else. What you define as success is the complete opposite to someone else.

Do you see the pattern here?

Truly happy, successful, healthy and beautiful people have certain traits in common:

  • They appreciate themselves
  • They are attracted to themselves
  • They recognise their strengths
  • They acknowledge changes they want to make and enjoy working to change.
  • They don’t compare themselves to others
  • They don’t try to fit in

Hating yourself does one thing – It makes you feel bad. So stop!

Easier said than done right? I mean hating any part of yourself has required work and dedication. It has taken a lot of time and effort. So how can we change this?

We have to start recognising this behaviour as it happens and then we can start to change it. So here is a simple exercise to start doing this. Standing in front of the mirror I want you to look at yourself and say:

I am amazing. I am perfect. I am smart and I am beautiful. I love me.

Now I know that this can be particularly hard to do especially if you don’t believe any of this so if you find it a struggle I want you to imagine you did believe it, imagine how you would feel if you believed all of these. Imagine how you would stand, how you would smile, how you would brush your hair. How you would adjust your clothes. How you would walk past the mirror. Just imagine and then pretend you are that person JUST while you say those statements.

One more exercise I want you to try is one where you can call upon your ILV (Inner Lioness Voice). This one takes a bit more effort in recognising your own thoughts. Every time you hear yourself wishing you were different or putting yourself down I want you to stop and say to yourself

Excuse me, don’t say those things about me, I am wonderful and amazing and shame on you for thinking anything else. Get out of here!

Not only that but I want you to feel annoyed with that other voice, as if it is a person. How dare it try to put you down. That is not a kind thing to do and you won’t stand for it.

Now you are either excited to try this or worried about the amount of voices in my head but just give it a try. Print this out or write down the exercises and just try them. If they don’t work at all then you have lost nothing but you should demand the very best for yourself because you are worth it (sorry Loreal for stealing your tagline).

Admiring your greatness Pride!

DATING DO’S AND DON’TS – PART 7

HOME TIME:

A short and sweet post today.  No I am not going to give you a curfew! It is my belief though that on a first date you should make sure you leave at a respectable hour – meaning you aren’t out partying at 2am. There are two reasons for this:

The first reason is so that you give the impression of being a respectable lady. You are on a first date and therefore you are setting a few standards. One of these being respect. A gentleman shouldn’t want to keep you out all night partying on a first date. He should want to see you home at a reasonable time, it shows that he doesn’t see you simply as a ‘good time’ girl. You don’t need to be Cinderella but you should consider that this man should earn your time and he should want the challenge of earning it, if he is serious about a possible future with you.

The second reason is a little more simple. If you meet someone and you spend a few hours together and have a really good time, leave it at that point. Do not try to drag out that feeling into awkward silences or lack of conversation. You do not want to simply stay out to keep the feeling going. Instead it is far better to leave whilst having had a great time and are interested to see that person again. A little taste of something good makes you want more, over indulging makes you sick.

Sounds so simple but far too often we fear ending something in case we don’t see or hear from that person again. If someone has enjoyed your company and felt like time has flown by they are going to be far more interested to see you again and sooner rather than later. When you feel the conversation slowing a little, simply look at your watch and say you better be heading home….or pick a place that doesn’t close too late and then it is sorted for you!

Start small and grow tall Pride!

Naughty or Ice?

So I am sure by now everyone has heard of and possibly taken part in the ALS ice bucket challenge. It has created quite a lot of attention and lots of different opinions so I thought it would be a good topic to discuss this week.

I first started seeing some shared videos on Facebook of celebrities having buckets of ice water poured over there head. They were also nominating other people to do the same. I had no idea what it was for or what the hashtag ‘ALS’ was about. Gradually I was seeing more and more videos and soon enough people I knew were doing their own.

I then came across a video on Facebook called ‘ALS the real ice bucket challenge’ that someone had shared. Having no idea why everyone was talking about this I clicked on to it. The video was of a man talking about a condition – ALS. He begins by making a bit of joke out of pouring ice water over himself dressed in a bright bikini top and shorts. He then talks about the people in his family that have suffered and are suffering with ALS. He too suffers from the disease. He very honestly talks about caring for someone with the disease and his own fear of ALS. I was so touched by this man’s honesty I decided to read up more about ALS. Below is the link to video I am referring to:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h07OY8p8Oik

To those of you who are unaware of the disease here is a very brief overview of ALS that I have borrowed from http://www.also.org If you want more information please check the website.

‘Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS), often referred to as ‘Lou Gehrig’s Disease,’ is a progressive neurodegenerative disease that affects nerve cells in the brain and the spinal cord. Motor neurons reach from the brain to the spinal cord and from the spinal cord to the muscles throughout the body. The progressive degeneration of the motor neurons in ALS eventually leads to their death. When the motor neurons die, the ability of the brain to initiate and control muscle movement is lost. With voluntary muscle action progressively affected, patients in the later stages of the disease may become totally paralyzed.’

It is a terrifying disease that leads to an undignified dependant ending. I cannot imagine how hard it is watching a loved one go through the symptoms, let alone facing the disease yourself.

So, now we have covered the important facts I will get to my point. I have seen a lot of positive, indifferent and negative responses to the ice bucket challenge – as expected with anything that begins trending on social media. I have heard a lot of people dismiss the challenge because they disagree with everyone jumping on a trend just to ‘attention seek’ by uploading a video of themselves. I have seen a lot of people wanting to see proof of people donating money to the cause. I have seen people upload videos just to mock others taking part in the challenge and become frustrated that people have missed the point and should be just donating instead of filming themselves. I have even seen comparisons to people in Africa not having enough water whilst people are ‘wasting’ water with the challenge.

On the flip side I have seen a lot of people praise the cause and take part themselves. I have seen a lot of people get involved in learning about ALS. I have seen people try to raise awareness for other charities and foundations that are important to them. I have seen people show compassion towards others.

So which one is right?

This is what I think and before I share this with you I am not saying I am right or wrong, this is just my opinion and I would love to hear all of yours too. I am interested in the reaction that this challenge has caused so the more different opinions there are the better.

I believe that the ice bucket challenge has brought a large number of people together to stand up for something. It has been fun and people have smiled and laughed throughout it, hopefully some of the people affected by ALS have been able to laugh and smile at some of the funny videos too. People have generously donated money towards helping find a cure towards a terrible and frightening disease. Without the ice bucket challenge I would never have known what ALS is and I wouldn’t have opened my heart to want to help anyone suffering or caring for someone suffering from ALS. I wouldn’t have smiled at almost everyone I know getting a big cold shock and looking a little bit silly on a camera. I wouldn’t have felt that little bit of extra pride for my 9-year-old god-daughter standing up for something she wants to change in the world. I wouldn’t have seen extra awareness raised for the struggle to find clean water in parts of Africa. I wouldn’t have heard about some of the other important causes my friends were passionate about. I wouldn’t have felt the extra bit of faith I have been given in the human race.

Anything that raises awareness in the world and brings people together in a happy and positive light has to be doing a small amount of good in the world right? How can that be a bad thing?

What do you think about the ice bucket challenge, is it helping at all?

icebucketchallenge