Because it’s the best way to be!

(Photo from anonymous source – Facebook)

The closer you get to all of these the more free and in control you will feel.  Doors will open, lights will shine and you will embrace everything with open arms.  Even if it’s scary, go for it, be you!
Lovin you for you Pride!

Executive Performance Review

I have recently been reading about the power of the mind and how to utilise your thoughts. It’s always good to read and learn fresh tools and information when trying to grow or work towards something. One thing I have been reading about in particular is about faith in our own subconscious and it really stood out to me so I thought perhaps it would be a message that others also needed to hear.

I truly believe our thoughts shape our world and our intuition guides us. Every time I have followed my intuition something valuable has happened and every time I have been the master of my thoughts I have been productive or had a good experience. I also believe that knowing what you want and focusing on it helps bring it closer to you. You don’t need to stress about the how’s or the what if’s, just have a clear goal and an open mind and the path will be laid before you. The goal just has to be clear, not necessarily specific. If you don’t know what you want to do then focus on success and happiness. Or perhaps you do know what you are here on earth to do, perhaps you dream of saving lives, so focus on that stethoscope around your neck and the feeling of saving lives. Whatever it is, focus on the feeling you desire from it.

When we have a goal in mind and we spend our time worrying about how it will happen or the obstacles in our way we are not giving room to the powers of our subconscious and the connection to the universe. Of course we still have to be pro-active and take steps towards the things that we want but it is important not to force the way.

Back to my reading, so I was reading about the idea of being a ‘good executive’. A good executive delegates tasks to their team and trusts that they will be done on time and to a high standard. A bad executive delegates tasks to their team and then stands over each person telling them how it should be done.

It is the same with your thoughts. If you have asked for something then you should trust your subconscious to create opportunities manifest for you and be alert for when they arrive. If you constantly question it’s work with: ‘Will I ever make it?’ ‘It’s too hard!’ ‘How will I ever get the things I want?’ Then you are standing over the shoulder of the powers that are helping you. Learn to have faith in the universe/god/the creator – whoever or whatever you believe to be a higher power and instead turn your attention on ways forward. Shine your shoes in preparation to walk through many new doors, clean your glasses in preparation of reading and studying, open your eyes to be able to see and smile at more people. The world is on your side, if you think that way.

Don’t lose that faith. You will be tested for patience, patience is a very important quality, it shows you have faith in what is coming, so if you are an impatient person be prepared to have that tested until you learn patience and unwavering faith.

Speak to like-minded people and avoid negativity, if the people around you believe that the world is hard and nobody ever lives the life they dream of then stay clear of them, or at least learn to tune them out. Send them well wishes and pray for them to believe in themselves. Then let those comments pass.

So this week we can all step into the role of Executive Director of our own minds and lets trust this magnificent team in our heads to deliver!

Happy Monday Pride!

Do it how you want it!

(photo from anonymous source – Facebook)

Pretend you are the person that you want to be, that you dream of being.  The only thing stopping you being that person is you acting differently.  Stop watching other people, stop worrying about them watching you.  Watch yourself and enjoy the view!

It’s already there

(photo from anonymous source – Facebook)

You have everything you need right now to go where you want to go.  You may not realise it but it’s true.  Start being thankful for the simple and obvious things, break them down, keep saying thank you and before you know it you will be finding blessings in the tough times too.
Perspective Pride!

The ‘Single Disease’

Although everything I write about today is true, it is also written with a pinch of salt and a little exaggeration for entertainment value. Today I am a voice for all of us out there that are single and…..wait for it……happy!!!!! I know right? Single and happy? Is that even possible? Well yes it is and guess what, we are sick of being treated like it’s a disease being single.

I have been on both sides of the spectrum. I was in a very long-term relationship for most of my teenage and early adult years and I have also been single for a good while.  I have also dipped my toe in and out of the ‘dating sea’. It is safe to say they are two different worlds.

Being single is seen as somewhat of a curse by all those that are safely coupled up around you (of course with the exception of a few people, but I am talking in general before anyone objects….and then goes back to snuggle with their other half). You are continuously asked about your dating success and when you haven’t found love with a recent ‘potential’ or you are not dating you are thrown looks of pity and given words of encouragement. I would like to point out that in about 98% of these cases we haven’t sought advice on how to console our ‘miserable and lonely’ existences, nor have we implied that we are unhappy being single.

We are also treated like children or animals, by which I mean decisions are made for us that wouldn’t be done if we had a significant other, for example:

  • Where we will sit at events and how we feel about that.
  • Where we will be accommodated and who we will share with – and how we will feel about that
  • What will be done with us when we are amongst a group of other couples – and how we will feel about that
  • What we will be available for and how we can help out – and how we will feel about that
  • What is important in our lives and what is not – and how we feel about those

If we are not on the road to marriage or children – god forbid we have other priorities – then we are seen as lonely and pathetic – we are pitied and decisions need to be made for us (because obviously we can’t make good ones otherwise we would have met someone). Perhaps our careers are taken seriously but that is about it. Now imagine the same considerations listed above were given to a couple – you know, decisions made for them. Oh no I don’t think so, both their individual needs have to be considered in any given situation and it is perfectly acceptable for them both to be as difficult, fussy or demanding as they like. If a single person does this then they are committing a crime or even worse, being irrational. What is it about being in a couple that makes you superior to those that aren’t?

Well, I have some things to say about this:

  • I don’t want to be sat next to your weird nervous friend and expect to be the person that entertains them – If you attempt to do this, I will instead talk non stop about myself and my meaningless existence unless I am paid a wage to do otherwise. Entertainment is to be valued and you pay for what you get – no wage – no entertainment.
  • I am not happy to be placed in a vehicle or room with any Tom, Dick or Harry. Instead, I will place myself at my home, where I will enjoy the company far better and am able to sleep naked and sing to myself.
  • If I am the only person in the group to not have a significant other, leave an extra space at the table or event anyway, we can pretend that one day it will be filled and I will not be unhappy and alone forever – It’s good to dream. Failing that I will bring my cat and we will both beg for extra food.
  • I am busy, always – just assume this. I will not be happy to be a dogs-body. In fact anything you want from me you should request well in advance. My social life is packed full of fun events that are far more tempting than your partners, mothers, friend’s dog’s birthday party. Ask one of your couple friends for help then you get two sets of hands, my nails are far too pretty to work.
  • My life is free and exciting and I am on a road of self discovery. Enlightenment is a stone’s throw away. Everything in my life is valuable and the way I choose it. It is all important. I care much more about my next adventure than your new garden table.
  • I am not gossip for you. Just because you are settling into evenings in front of the television and cleaning nappy’s it does not mean you should look to my dating life – or lack thereof – to get your gossip fix. Yes we notice that you look disappointed when we have none for you. May I recommend Jeremy Kyle instead perhaps.

Being single is not a curse. Settling with someone so you are not alone IS!

I have so much fun in my own company. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want without the responsibility of compromise. Yes falling in love will be great, building a family will be magical and taken into consideration a handful of people before I make any single little decision in my life will surely make me feel more complete than I can ever imagine – when the time is right. Not a moment before because quite frankly, I am totally and utterly in love with myself. I get to explore places, take in the world, learn amazing things and live each day in wonder. I am not lonely being alone. I do not want to rush my life and being me is so much fun. Whilst you are cooking dinner and making children and seeking other couples to double date with I am living my life too, just in my way. I am sleeping in a quiet bedroom that is disturbed only by the sound of my cat purring – this does not make me a lonely cat lady – I am cleaning up after only me – and I am pretty tidy. I am not surrounded by noise and people demanding from me. I still understand priorities because I have my own that are important to me. Just because I don’t want children tomorrow it doesn’t mean I have no meaning in my life. Just because I go for long walks alone or with a friend it does not mean there is no magic in my life.

I am not unhappy and I am not desperately searching for someone to validate my life.

Where is the celebration for this? Where are all the presents for me being me? Where are all the nice clothes and traditions for being independent and happy? Quite frankly your relationships cost far too much, you get married (find someone to have sex with forever)  and have children (by having sex with that person)  and we have to celebrate this and shower you with gifts, it costs us time, money and energy. Where is the celebration for the time we have given you? Where is the celebration for being celibate for so long? Surely that is an achievement? Where is the equality?

All jokes aside, I am very happy for those around me that have found someone truly amazing. It fills me with happiness to see them happy and loved and respected. To see them build families and loving homes is so special. I very much enjoy being around them. But, I wouldn’t trade places with them for the world. I feel that same happiness toward my life. So please, those of you that do any of the above, consider the possibility that your single friends probably don’t want to be you, they probably turn up to a lot of events because they love and support you but may not always want to do the couple thing, family thing or snotty children thing. They are there because they love and support you. Do the same to them and treat them like a respectable adult who has opinions and preferences too.

Here’s to each of you Pride, each one of you individually, coupled up or not. We are all fabulous.

HATE YOURSELF BEAUTIFUL

So there seems to be this worldwide phenomenon, a way of working towards the ideal you. You can reach utter perfection just by following this simple tip. All you have to do is hate yourself perfect. How on earth can I reach the perfect me I hear you ask? Well I will tell you:

  • Feel too fat? Just hate every inch of you that you think is fat!
  • Feel too thin? Just hate all the skinniest parts of you, look at each rib in disgust!
  • Feel too tall? Look at all of those that are shorter than you and put them higher up than you in worth!
  • Feel too pale? Look at yourself in the mirror and point out how disgusting you are
  • Feel you aren’t smart? Easy, envy all those that you think are clever and tell yourself you are stupid!

Does the above work well for an advert? No? There is something wrong with this tactic? Are you telling me you wouldn’t go and see a ‘hate yourself perfect’ life coach????? Well there goes that money-making scheme!

The thing is though, nearly everybody uses this technique in some part of their lives to motivate them to change. Here is the thing though:

YOU CANNOT HATE YOURSELF TO IMPROVE!

This means:

  • You cannot hate yourself healthy
  • You cannot hate yourself happy
  • You cannot hate yourself beautiful
  • You cannot hate yourself to success

For a start each of these goals listed above mean something different to everyone. What you think is beautiful is the complete opposite of beauty to someone else. What you think it means to be healthy is the complete opposite to someone else. What you think it means to be happy is the complete opposite to someone else. What you define as success is the complete opposite to someone else.

Do you see the pattern here?

Truly happy, successful, healthy and beautiful people have certain traits in common:

  • They appreciate themselves
  • They are attracted to themselves
  • They recognise their strengths
  • They acknowledge changes they want to make and enjoy working to change.
  • They don’t compare themselves to others
  • They don’t try to fit in

Hating yourself does one thing – It makes you feel bad. So stop!

Easier said than done right? I mean hating any part of yourself has required work and dedication. It has taken a lot of time and effort. So how can we change this?

We have to start recognising this behaviour as it happens and then we can start to change it. So here is a simple exercise to start doing this. Standing in front of the mirror I want you to look at yourself and say:

I am amazing. I am perfect. I am smart and I am beautiful. I love me.

Now I know that this can be particularly hard to do especially if you don’t believe any of this so if you find it a struggle I want you to imagine you did believe it, imagine how you would feel if you believed all of these. Imagine how you would stand, how you would smile, how you would brush your hair. How you would adjust your clothes. How you would walk past the mirror. Just imagine and then pretend you are that person JUST while you say those statements.

One more exercise I want you to try is one where you can call upon your ILV (Inner Lioness Voice). This one takes a bit more effort in recognising your own thoughts. Every time you hear yourself wishing you were different or putting yourself down I want you to stop and say to yourself

Excuse me, don’t say those things about me, I am wonderful and amazing and shame on you for thinking anything else. Get out of here!

Not only that but I want you to feel annoyed with that other voice, as if it is a person. How dare it try to put you down. That is not a kind thing to do and you won’t stand for it.

Now you are either excited to try this or worried about the amount of voices in my head but just give it a try. Print this out or write down the exercises and just try them. If they don’t work at all then you have lost nothing but you should demand the very best for yourself because you are worth it (sorry Loreal for stealing your tagline).

Admiring your greatness Pride!

THE RUNNING MAN

So I was actually talking to a couple of guys off of an online dating site. One day I received a message from a guy saying:

‘Fancy running away with me and making a load of babies together?’

I of course rolled my eyes as I read this, normally I would ignore someone like this but I was in an upbeat mood so instead I replied:

‘Are you actually sending messages like that to people?

‘Well it got you to reply didn’t it!’ He replied

I actually found out that he had sent one of my friends a very similar first message online – this was clearly his pick up line, I felt ashamed with myself for even responding!!!!! Not even an original message – tut!

He did have a point though, it did get me to reply. I entertained his conversation just a little longer and was actually surprised. He was quite funny and had interesting conversation. In my head I laughed and said to myself ‘this guy is nothing but trouble’ but he seemed harmless enough and was at the very least, for the time being, entertaining.

*Now I am looking back at this I am very well aware that I should have run as fast as I could the other way, however, I have made my fair share of mistakes with men and there’s no point hiding my mistakes now is there, they were all very important lessons….some that I was a little…..ok VERY slow in learning!*

We talked online for a while longer and he asked for my phone number. So I gave it to him, I was very aware that this would go nowhere but for now it was fun conversation with someone who seemed like a laugh.

We started talking all day long, we were actually getting to know each other and apart from him being a little bit cheeky he seemed like a very nice guy so when he asked me out I said yes, I mean, why not, people can surprise you right? We arranged a day for just after New Year and then as we were talking more and more he told me he didn’t want to wait that long and, still keeping our original day, he also arranged a day sooner.

We went for a drink and ended up staying out for hours talking. He was good-looking and interesting. The night had been great. Maybe I had this guy a little bit wrong.

We continued to talk and see each other, he was very respectful and even when he invited me round to his house didn’t push any boundaries. I let myself start to trust him and for the first time in a very long time things were moving forward with a guy AND looking hopeful.

So it had been a couple of months and I was going to go round to his after work. Things were looking like they may be moving forward yet again and so I was nervously excited about going to his that evening.

We talked all day long as normal, he kept telling me to hurry up and finish work. He was excited for me to get there. I had one more client to see and then I would be on my way.

After work I went to return a message to him to say I was on my way, I noticed that I couldn’t see his ‘last seen’ on Whatsapp, I thought this was a bit odd but this was back when sometimes Whatsapp liked to do this so it wasn’t completely abnormal. I tried to call him but it was going straight to voicemail. Never mind, I will just go and get ready.

So I went home and was ready to leave and still hadn’t heard back, he still wasn’t showing on Whatsapp either. I messaged him and told him that I was going to my friend’s house who lived on the way to his and to message me when he got this. I wasn’t going to sit around waiting, besides, she was like family to me so at least I could pop in for a cup of tea.

My other friend was messaging me asking if I had heard from him when she suddenly said ‘Rach give me his number’ I thought it was weird but I gave it to her anyway. A couple of seconds later she messaged me saying ‘Rach, he’s blocked you, he’s online right now on Whatsapp’. My stomach rose to my throat….WHAT????????? I picked up my other phone and went on there to check – yep, he was online. I messaged him asking what was going on and he immediately blocked me on that number too. I sent him one text asking what the hell he was playing at knowing I wouldn’t get a reply. So I instantly erased him. I was seething but my friend was talking to me about some serious stuff so instead of making the evening about me I poured a glass of something quite a bit stronger than tea, threw it down the back of my throat and refilled. I pushed this idiot to the back of my mind and listened to my friend.

By the next day I had two dates lined up for the weekend (cue Mr WB…now that’s a good story) and had completely forgotten who the hell he was. That was the last of him in my life!!!!! Of course…..as you will soon know, it wasn’t. I do know how to pick ’em don’t I?

Happy Monday Pride!

A little bit of crazy!

So I actually had some fun this week helping some of with you with your profiles, some really great ‘about me’s’ coming together and some really funny reads. Most importantly you are sounding like Lionesses. Keep them coming!

So on to our next disaster. As I do on occasion I decided to disappear for a month and go and see Thailand and Bali with a friend. The week before I left I started talking to a particularly nice looking guy who was a personal trainer (normally I keep away from PT’s having worked as one myself but this one was very pretty). He was polite and charming and asked if we could meet up the following week. I told him I was away for a month and he asked if we could keep in touch while I was away which was sweet.

Whilst I was away he would send me the occasional message asking how I was getting on and asking for some pictures of the landscapes. This was a nice request because it was something he was interested in and enjoyed seeing, he was taking an interest in my trip and he wasn’t asking me to send a load of pics of myself – which would have completely put me off of him.

I didn’t overhear from him either which was just as well because I was living in paradise but he was in contact enough so I looked forward to a message from him. I had something nice to look forward to going back home.

When I got home he didn’t waste any time arranging a day for us to go and have a drink. We met up and managed to park next to each other. He was even better looking in real life and greeted me with a hug. We walked into the bar and he got us a drink and we sat down. He didn’t once take his coat off which was a bit strange but it was winter.

The conversation just flowed which was nice, he actually had depth and substance and asked a lot of questions. We were laughing and talking so much that before we knew it the place was closing. We walked back to our cars and he hugged me goodbye – most importantly he didn’t try to kiss me on the first date! He messaged me later on saying he had a nice time and we arranged to meet again at the weekend. Amazing, a date that actually went well!

That weekend he messaged me to tell me he wouldn’t know for sure if he was free because his Uncle was in hospital and being moved to a hospital further away, he didn’t know what time he would be back and asked to let me know. We didn’t meet up. He messaged me to rearrange. You can never question a hospital visit – even if they give you that suspicious feeling you just have to accept it, but it was giving me a suspicious feeling.

So we came to the next day we were supposed to meet up. I didn’t hear anything from him. Nothing. Irritated, I messaged him nearer the time – something a woman should NOT have to do. I heard nothing. So I made other plans and went to see a friend. It was so strange, he didn’t contact me or reply, had he just lost interest?

The next day I received a message ‘so I had the worst day yesterday’. ‘Great do I care?’ Is what I should have said but I was unfortunately alot nicer at the time so I asked what happened and he called me. He explained how there was a load of stuff that happened at work and that he was trying to be pushed out of the gym and people were blaming him for stuff that he didn’t do and his manager was trying to set him up and he was just so angry after it all and bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! I AM SORRY, YOU WERE JUST SO ANGRY YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME????? I was not impressed at all. After him going on and on about his ‘woe is me’ story he said ‘I need to make it up to you, what happened wasn’t cool, are you free tomorrow night so we can meet up?’ I reluctantly agreed (idiot) and said I would give him one more chance (idiot again). We set a time and place to meet.

So the next day came and again I hadn’t heard from him, so I messaged him to confirm. He said could we make it an hour later he needed to get in the bath he was so tired he had slept. WHAT???? I said to him if he was so tired we could always give it a miss. He responded by telling me that it would probably be best as he was so angry from more issues at work he felt like he just wanted to punch and smash things up……! I instantly pictured our wedding and a life of happiness with this man……..or rather I rolled my eyes with boredom – what on earth? You just want to punch and smash things up? Do you expect sympathy? I never spoke to him again. I actually judge myself for giving him a second chance and wish I could say it was the last time I tolerated such poor behaviour from a male, thankfully for you guys it isn’t so there are still some very ridiculous stories to tell you.

One thing I have learnt ladies, is that when a man is truly interested in you he will make the effort and do everything he can not to let you down. If you find yourself hearing excuses and being messed around just cut him loose. You are better than that and deserve more. He should be trying to impress you and show you how valuable you are. If he isn’t then he isn’t invested and you are setting yourself up for misery. Always remember – when the heart wants something it finds a thousand ways, when it doesn’t it finds a thousand excuses’. That is the most truthful thing I have learnt.

Another extremely valuable lesson I have learnt and will at some point go into greater detail about is to always trust your instinct. Our intuition is there for a reason. Listen to it and let it guide you. Don’t give away too much too soon, time will tell you everything you need to know but never ignore your instincts. They are there for a reason and are never wrong – paranoia can be wrong but your instincts – never!

I WANT WHAT I’VE GOT!

What is that you want? What don’t you have that you have been wanting? I bet a list comes to mind easily? Put that list aside and now make a list of all the things that you already have that are amazing and wonderful. Every single one of them. It may start off with things that seem more important such as family, friends, pets, a roof over your head.

Wow, if you are blessed enough to have those on your list then really and truly you hold so much already. Many of my friends I consider my family and I am thankful for them everyday. I wouldn’t trade them for anything in the world, would you?

Do you have a roof over your head and a warm bed? Hallelujah, there is nothing like climbing into bed after a long day. Laying your head on to the pillow and spreading out under the sheets. Gorgeous!!!!!

Ok so maybe some things that may seem a bit smaller in comparison, such as a paying job, a hobby, a big TV.

Money to be able to afford things you enjoy is a great feeling. A sense of achievement after hitting work deadlines or making a difference is really rewarding.

A hobby means you are dedicating time to yourself and your passions. The importance of this is infinitely high. We are on earth, in a body, living a life. We have to dedicate some of that time for ourselves.

A big TV? Yes!!!! Movie night. Relaxing on the sofa or in bed and snuggling up with some snacks. One of my favourite things to do.

I have just named 7 things and briefly touched on them. I could go on with this list forever. I haven’t even gone into great detail about the 7 things I have just named. I haven’t given you the name of each of my friends and why I am so thankful for them. I haven’t told you every single movie I have loved watching on my TV at home where I enjoy the roof over my head.

My point is that if you want more things to be grateful for in life or happy about, then be grateful for all the things you already have. You will be surprised at how long and detailed this list will be. By the time you finish you will realise that you already have so much that any more would simply be a blessing. You are in fact opening a doorway to allow even more to come to you. The more we focus on what have to be grateful for the more we will be given even more things to be grateful for. It’s a win-win.

What are you grateful for right now?

WHERE ARE YOU NOW?

These days we are always rushing and thinking, working and planning, busy and arranging but where are you?

Where is your mind?

Many people are forward thinking so their mind is in the future but they are also worrying about consequences they suffered in the past, so, their mind is also in the past. So your mind is being pulled in two directions, but where is your body? In the now, in the present moment.

For us to fully function, happily and in line with our true path we need to be here, in the now, feeling the present moment. Try to lose some expectations and understand that a lot of your worries are based on past occurrences and that you can’t truly predict the future.

Stop rushing, there is no such thing as time, it is man-made. Somehow time controls us when it is meant to be used simply as a measure, a guide, to serve us.

Is time serving you or are you serving time?

When everything feels a little too hectic, stop, take a deep breath and look around you. Think about what you can see around you right at this very minute. Name 5 things you can see right now, the ground, your shoes, a tree, anything. This will help bring you back to the present moment. Acknowledge yourself in the present and then continue with your day. Remember you can only effectively do one thing at a time so put all your efforts into doing each task and each task will be completed to the best that it can be with you fully present to complete it.

How do you slow down and bring yourself to the present moment?