Live as a Lioness

Hey Pride,

 

Sorry I have been gone a while, I’ve been making films and documentaries and all sorts.  So I have attached a link to my vlog on here.  Check it out, then check some more out and let me know what you think!

 

Miss you all Pride!

 

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It’s coming to the end of another year and many of us will think about our New Year’s Resolutions soon.  We will decide what it is we want and how we are going to get it, then come January 1st it’s all go, go, go.

 

This year I have a different approach for you all.  Think about what it is you want to change, think about the promises you want to make for yourself.  Write them down, imagine them and pretend they are real. Feels great right?

 

Now I want you to choose just one of your resolutions and I want you to write down or think of 5 actions that will help you achieve these.  For example, you want to lose 6kg by May.  5 actions could be:

  • Go to the gym/exercise 3 days a week.
  • Cut out chocolate 6 days a week.
  • Eat more vegetables.
  • Buy a dress a size smaller.
  • Take a picture of yourself as you are now for your before and after photo.

 

Now, notice that all of these are actions.  They all require your doing.  Now instead of picking the easiest one and doing it and then ignoring the rest I want you to pick a day, this week, and commit yourself to taking action on this chosen day toward your goals, using at least 3 of your ‘harder’ actions.  For example, on Thursday you could commit to the following:

  • No chocolate after 3pm.
  • Each meal must include a vegetable of some sort.
  • You will walk up the escalator on the way to work.

 

That is it.  That is all you have to commit to.  Just one day.  If you find it easy perhaps add in the action of taking that picture of yourself, or browse dresses online and see what you would like to buy.  Then don’t force yourself to do anything else until the following week….unless, you want to.  Know that the other days you put in extra work are optional, if you do an extra day the first week but not the second then that is OK!  But, on that one day you have promised to yourself, you must stay committed to your goals.

 

There are less than 4 weeks left of this year which means that by the time we meet January 1st, you will have already been working on your Resolutions for 3 weeks.  You will already be prepared.  You will be on your way!  This will help you to feel organised and motivated because you won’t be starting everything from scratch and it will feel good to continue your efforts.

 

Another quick example just to explore different goals is the idea that perhaps you want a new career, perhaps you want to earn more money or bag an interview with a dream company or even start your own business.  5 actions could be as follows:

  • Write down what you would like to be doing and where clearly and in detail.
  • Research 10 companies that you would like to work for and find a contact name of a senior person relevant to the role for each.
  • Write a list of qualities and skills you have and where you see yourself in 10 years
  • Write a letter explaining who you are, what you want to do in your career and why you are good at it.
  • Go to work imagining you have your dream role, dress the part, talk the part and put in the same effort you would if you had it already.

 

There, 5 actions.  They may seem big or small to you, but either way, they are 5 actions that will get you moving forward.  Pick one day and again choose 3 of those.  For example, on Wednesday you will:

  • Write down what you would like to be doing and where, as listed above.
  • Choose an outfit for work tomorrow that makes you feel worthy of this new role.  You want to feel empowered and successful so choose an outfit that will help with this.
  • Research one company, find out who to contact (choose someone senior that has influence in the business) and put it in to a document on your computer so you an add to it the week after with more companies.

 

This is me stripping it down to the bare minimum.  Any extra work you want to do is great but the idea is that we don’t want any of it to seem daunting.  Get your body into the beginning of a habit, a habit that will move you towards your goals in a realistic and sustainable manner.

 

Let’s start our New Year’s Resolutions in preparation for the New Year, so that we can potentially spend January 1st recovering from the celebrations and with a restful mindset knowing that you are on your way!

 

Onwards we go Pride!

 

 

 

Just trying to fit in!

When I was younger all I wanted was to be normal. I wanted to fit in. I didn’t want to be singled out. I wanted to be liked and blend in with everyone.  
I didn’t want the bullies to take a shine to me, I didn’t want them to scream in my ears in the playground, circle around my friends so that I would stand alone, make up embarrassing rumours about me, threaten me, start on me or throw the things that hurt me in my face. I didn’t want to be humiliated. I just wanted to be normal. I just wanted to fit in.
When I lost my mum at 13, I didn’t want to be the girl whose mum had just died, I didn’t want everyone to look at me, pity me, know that I was the girl with no mum. I didn’t want to be the talk of the school. I just wanted to be normal. I just wanted to fit in.
As I got older and faced monsters in the shape of grown-ups, I didn’t want to be the damaged woman, I didn’t want to be the one with a troubled childhood, I didn’t want to be the one that came with baggage, I didn’t want to be the one scarred by the actions of people doing wrong, I didn’t want to be pitied and have eyes rolled behind my back. I just wanted to be normal. I just wanted to fit in
But I wasn’t normal.
I felt far from normal and I was FAR from normal. I realised that by hiding how different I was that I was actually crushing my own soul, by trying to be like everyone else I was becoming nobody, by fitting in I was losing any meaning of life.  
I am not normal and nor would I want to be, I am the only one of me. Why would I want to be invisible? Why would I want to live my life to be accepted by other people that are no better than me? Why would I base what is ‘right’ on other people’s opinions? Why would I want to hand my worth to someone else when it is the most valuable diamond of this earth?
I wouldn’t. I don’t want to be anyone but me. I don’t want to be anything other than who I am. I don’t want to concern myself with the opinion of ‘they’. I want to be every part of me. I want to feel every drop of my blood feed my body. I want to think every thought that runs through my mind. I want to speak every truth that flows from my heart and I want to be a platform for my soul to give meaning to this world.
I want to live. I want to tell others to live too. I want to help everyone see how completely not normal they really are. I want everyone to know that a light shines in them with colours that no one has ever seen before.
Realising that no part of me is normal is when I truly began to fit in. I fit in to me. To my own skin. To my own world. And it’s fantastic.
Be you.
Fit in with you!
We are all part of one seriously abnormal Pride fellow Lions and Lionesses! 

You got the power!

We have got to take responsibility for ourselves and teach our children to do the same.  
Imagine if in every argument we had, instead of throwing accusations and blame towards someone else, we actually took responsibility for our own feelings and actions.
You have control of your life you just have to actually take it. If someone is making you upset or not treating you right then why on earth are you still bothering? Why are you attacking them for not changing or behaving the way you want them to. Take responsibility for yourself and recognise that you do not want to be there and you want to find someone who treats you in line with how you want to be treated.
When someone is making your life ‘hell’ change your behaviour in the situation.  
Yes it might be scary and feel hard but its the only way you will really get what you want and teach others how to do the same.  
We have got to stop blaming the world for how our life is and realise that we are shaping our own life all the time.  
Set your standards, don’t lower them for anyone and be ready to make the decisions your life will require from you.
Your life, your way pride!

DATING DO’S AND DONT’S PART 6

CONVERSATION

This, in theory, should be a topic that doesn’t need covering. However, it does need covering….very much so….for both genders.

Good conversation is essential for a date to be considered successful and although nerves can come in to play a bit it is really quite simple to avoid any awkward ‘mind-blanking’ silent moments.

It is also very obvious to avoid being vulgar or emotional…or so I thought. Apparently too many people are unaware of what shouldn’t be talked about on a first date.

So below are some of those beloved Do’s and Don’ts.

DO:

  • Ask questions – It is important to make an effort to get to know the person you are on a date with. Take an interest in who they are.
  • Listen – Do not interrupt (unless it is relevant to what they are talking about and cannot wait another two minutes). Listening is so important. Too often people try to simply compete with each other. It is not a fun conversation when it goes along the lines of ‘I did this’ ‘well I did this’ ‘and I like this’ ‘well I like this’. Each time you open your mouth remember it is not a chance to brag about what or who you are in comparison the other person. Enjoy listening.
  • Be honest about what you are looking for – you don’t have to inform someone that they need to marry you or show them the condom in your wallet, but, being open about what you are looking for ensures you are both on the same page and not wasting each other’s time.
  • Be genuine – you don’t need to act or be a certain way. Let someone get an idea of who the real you is.

DON’T:

  • Talk about sex – Learn someone’s boundaries before making possible inappropriate comments. It is important to show a lady you respect them and pushing through those boundaries too fast could be fatal. Likewise ladies, it is important to show a man you respect yourself.
  • Act like you are with your friends – Whilst it is important to be comfortable with someone you are considering as a partner it is important to consider that you are not ‘chilling with a friend’ you are in fact, on a date. A little charm goes along way as does a little grace and elegance. It is nice to have a joke and be able to have fun and relax but remember you are playing man and woman not Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Save that for your actual friend’s. Speak politely, keep your jokes clean and be kind. I actually have a friend who went on a date with a guy that spoke about his toilet activities for a good while. He didn’t pick up the disgust on her face or the confused and nervous laugh. He just carried on with the subject. I will let you guess whether or not she met up with him again. I have been on a date where the guy told me all about his recent first experience with LSD. I hadn’t once mentioned drugs or implied that I would find anything of the sort impressive. I was completely unimpressed by his story and my face clearly showed this but he went right on talking and laughing at himself. I have endless stories of shocking conversation topics from myself and my friends that still leave us jaw dropping-ly gobsmacked.
  • Put down the other person. The person sitting opposite you is exactly who you see. If you don’t like what they say or think then accept that they are not the person for you. Do not criticise the way they are simply because you are different. Accept it or move on. The amount of men that have thought they can manipulate me into changing who I am by belittling my principles and beliefs is astonishing….and guess what…..not one of them managed to succeed but they were all completely shocked that I didn’t want to see them again. The other side of this is that you can make someone feel bad about themselves and that is not on, no matter who you are.
  • Excuse behaviour that you won’t tolerate down the line – If you are spoken to in a way you do not like then make it clear. You cannot simply brush it off and then have a problem with it at a later date. Be clear on what is acceptable and unacceptable from the beginning.
  • Be too emotional or negative – Yes you want to meet someone you can eventually share everything with but you are not an open buffet. Save some personal problems for down the line – or try to resolve them before hand. Nobody wants to hear all about your debt, your horrible boss, your Ex’s, your health worries or your miserable outlook on life. Your personal problems are exactly that – personal. Unless it is a fun story or you gently touch on the subject because you have been asked, nobody wants to save someone from the victim river so wear your armbands and a rubber ring. That damsel in distress act is not to be confused with a Negative Nancy!

People are so different that you cannot put too many rules on conversation but you can follow some basic and courteous guidelines. Prepare some questions before you arrive and that way if conversation does run out a little bit you can try to spark it off again. I have included some nice easy questions you can use below:

  • Do you have brothers or sisters?
  • Have you always lived in the area?
  • What kind of films do you like?
  • Have you ever had any pets?
  • Have you travelled to many countries?

These are some easy questions that can spark off a whole new conversation with tons of sub topics.

In the meantime pride I would love to hear some of the most shocking things you have had to listen to…..

DATING DO’S AND DON’TS PART 5

FIRST MESSAGE:

So now we need to talk about actually meeting up with someone and being on a real date. This doesn’t just apply to someone you have met off of Tinder or online dating sites. This applies to anyone. The first message is in regards to setting up the date. So you arrange a day to meet and possibly a time….what then? Well, again there are several do’s and don’ts that you fellas need to learn and that you ladies need to tolerate and not tolerate.

Do:

  • Arrange a venue and let us know where we need to be.

 

  • Let us know a time well in advance – we need to plan getting ready.

 

  • Follow up on the day and confirm the details.

Don’t:

  • Arrange a day and time and leave it to the day for us to chase you about a location.

 

  • Leave it to us to arrange.

 

  • Make us travel further than you.

This is such a simple one but so many of you seem to get it so wrong. The fact of the matter is that most of you ‘men’ want a real woman yet you don’t want to be a real man. It’s not a one way street. We are different gender’s and therefore we have differences. Yes yes there are equal rights now set in place by a government that tells you how to be and yes society has messed up our roles in our own gender but if you want the real deal you have to BE the real deal – and this goes for women too!  This is a whole new topic for a later date though.

Fellas, just choose a nice location halfway – or even one stop closer to her as this will give you extra brownie points for being so considerate. Look up a bar that you can go to for a couple of drinks. It doesn’t have to be the Ritz for a 7-course meal followed by ballroom dancing all night. Just make simple arrangements and tell us a time and place to meet you. This will be noted by us and will impress us from the get go. You are making your work so much easier from this simple effort.

Telling us a time in advance is important because we like to plan our day according to our grooming. Women like to take their time to look nice for you and letting us know when we have to be there in advance means we can make a proper effort, which, after all, is mostly for you anyway.

We don’t want to get to the day of the date and not hear from you until half an hour before. Just send us a little message in the morning or the night before to confirm everything is still ok. It will show us you are thinking about us and put our minds at rest.

All of these simple things will give us a great first impression of you and help to start things off on a really good note. You are not going above and beyond or having to break the bank either, just showing us that you use your head and are a man – which is what a woman wants.

So many times I have complained to my friends or vice versa that we have arranged a day and then nothing is mentioned until we chase up on the day – by then we have pretty much lost interest anyway. The other one that turns us off quicker than you can actually press send on a message is ‘where do you want to go’ – euuurrggghhh just take control. A woman is quite capable of organising a complete household with one hand, a full-time job with the other and several of her friend’s emotional issues with her big toe so we want the chance to switch our multi-tasking minds off and be taken out and treated – you can do this simply by organising the date and messaging her the details – not too much to ask for is it?

If it is too much to ask for then you are not looking for anything serious and ladies – run for the hills – he is just not worth it.

Set your standards higher and you will meet someone who respects standards!

Woohoo – Lioness fever is spreading…….

DATING DO’S AND DON’TS PART 4

CONVERSATION

This is of course, one very important part of online dating, it is the only thing we have to build an idea of what the photograph of you is actually like as a real person. There seem to be quite a few patterns in many conversations online, some of them are good, many of them are bad.

So for our lists:

DO –

  • Ask questions – Take an interest in getting to know who we are.

 

  • Pay an occasional compliment – We are women after all and we enjoy being adored….just a little.

 

  • Make jokes – Every woman loves a man who can make her laugh.

 

  • Ask us out – We are not looking for a pen pal, having said that don’t ask us within half an hour of chatting, give it a few days at least to make sure we get on.

These may seem like obvious points but believe me, so many men could do with a course in how to do just these few. I have actually gotten to a point now where I do not reply to someone if they do not ask a question or say something worthwhile, if you can’t be bothered to make good conversation then be very assured, neither can I! Ok, now the don’ts:

DON’T –

  • Be too proud – so many of you are so proud that you can’t take a joke or loosen up enough to have fun in a conversation, it’s boring and you look insecure and yes, we can see you have too much pride, it’s not a secret. Dating is fun so enjoy it.

 

  • Talk only about yourself – if this is all you are interested in may I suggest a conversation with a mirror instead?

 

  • Shower us with compliments – It becomes uncomfortable, saying something nice every now and again is sweet, saying something nice every other message becomes awkward.

 

  • Bring up sex too soon – If you want a lady then treat her as such, don’t make crude suggestions before you have, at the very least, learnt her boundaries. You might be making her feel uncomfortable.

 

  • Make assumptions – You are just reading words, please remember that, you are CHOOSING what tone and voice goes with those words. Too often you fellas can be very uptight and sensitive to our jokes and don’t actually get that we are having a laugh with you, please realise this is your pride getting defensive, it is such a mood killer when you then tell us to ‘calm down’ or ‘loosen up’ when, in fact, we are joking. This is your own assumption, more than likely based on women you have experienced before. Why don’t YOU lighten up a little and assume we are not being miserable. Most girls know how to handle a bit of ‘banter’ you know!

 

  • Pressure us for our number – This is my pet hate on online dating sites and I am sure many of you girls have heard this so many times mid conversation with a seemingly decent man: ‘Anyway I am deleting this profile tonight so perhaps I can have your number’. Why on earth would you delete a profile midway through a conversation WITH SOMEONE YOU ARE GETTING ON WITH???????? I think I am more frustrated with the fact that you think we are stupid enough to believe your stupidity! Girls, please, please, please don’t give them your number if they ask like this, tell them you don’t like handing your number out too soon, don’t explain it, just say that and nothing more. Watch most of them keep that profile they were ‘oh so desperate to delete’ just a little longer.

 

  • Lie – Seems obvious I know but guys you do it so often, most of you suck at lying and on top of that what is the point? Lies are always found out and it is no way to start a relationship of any kind. Also, most of the time we can tell you are lying and you are only kidding yourselves. This goes for both men and women too, lying only harms yourself, live truthfully.

It needs to be remembered that meeting someone online is the same as meeting them anywhere else. You still need to stick to your own personal morals and principles and the fact of the matter is that it is even easier for a man to approach you and talk to you online, it takes less effort than being face to face and is a lot less nerve-racking, so make sure they are worth it!

Next I do believe it is our first introduction to The Running Man.

Happy chatting pride!

DATING DO’S AND DON’TS – PART 3

FIRST MESSAGE:

So before i give you some more frogs for the blog (by the way Mr Disaster makes a return next week) I have to cover another topic for our dating do’s and don’ts. The one and only, very important, first message. Now traditionally I believe that the man should send the first message, just because it goes back to the natural way of animals approaching each other – but that is just my opinion, it doesn’t make it right or wrong. So today’s post is aimed at you guys sending that first message.

Lets cover some of the Do’s first of all today:

  • Do use a lady’s name – this is a basic technique in building rapport with anyone, it makes the message more personal.

 

  • Do ask a question – it gives us something to reply to. Simple.

 

  • Do comment on something you have seen or read on our profile – this shows us that you are actually interested in learning about us – women love to be listened to and cared about – just as men do, so this is definitely a thumbs up.

Actually making sure you have covered all of these points in your first message gives you the best chance of an interested reply and a way to start conversation.

For example, ‘Hey Rachel, how are you? That picture of you sitting on the floor with that old man is so cool, where was that?’

Unless you are unfortunately not my type at all then why wouldn’t I reply to that? So simple yet so effective. Oh and if you want to know more about that picture…well…I’ve just taught you how to find out!

Now for the Don’ts:

  • Don’t use a pet name i.e. babe, baby, darling, sweetheart and my most hated of all time ‘luv’.

 

  • Don’t simply write ‘Hey’! Stop being so lazy and add ‘how are you?’ at the end of it at least!

 

  • Don’t comment on the fact that you are the one to message first – If you are going to be bitter then don’t message at all, otherwise, get over it, that is the way it should be!

 

  • Don’t copy and paste a message – we can tell!

 

  • Don’t say ‘I don’t usually do this’ or ‘I’m new to this’ – stop being embarrassed about being online. We are there too, just get on with the message and accept your online dating presence!

I understand that maybe you are having to write a lot of first messages that don’t go anywhere but you don’t have to write an essay, just put a tiny bit of effort into each one, it will pay off eventually.

My friend had a message sent to her at lunch time once saying ‘hey babe you in bed?’ – Excuse me? At lunch time? In the week? Why on earth would you ask that and what business is it of yours. It is safe to say he never got a reply.

Now understandably on tinder there is a lot less information than on other sites so your first message may seem a little more limited but just use your brain. You can still string a polite first sentence together as I did above. I have had several great messages on Tinder that refer to one of my pictures and it is always a great conversation starter. On some of the more complexed dating sites such as Match.com and Plenty Of Fish there is a whole load of information you can choose from. Just pick something that interests you and incorporate it into that first message you send.

Ladies, back to you, if a man sends you a shoddy first message, don’t reply, or at the very least make sure his second message has a bit of substance. If he is not willing to make more of an effort than ‘hey’ or ‘hi babe’ what is the point. People are always their best at the beginning so don’t settle for pure shod (yes it is a word because I used it in a sentence). If you are willing to make an effort for a guy, make sure he is making an effort for you.

I had some more great ‘about me’ sections sent to me this week. It was great to give you all some advice. If you want advice on yours you can email me at mountainess1@gmail.com and don’t worry it will stay completely between us!

Good luck Pride and let me know what ghastly things you are coming across on your online dating journey’s!

We ALL got that boom boom!!!!!

Ok so this has been bugging me for a little while now and I am bugged enough that I want to write about it.

I am sure you have all heard Meghan Trainor’s song ‘All about that bass’. Now, whilst I love girls who are promoting self-love I just can’t get down with any kind of ’empowerment’ that is achieved by the need to be better than someone else. First let’s have a look at her lyrics:

“All About That Bass”

Because you know I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass

 

Yeah, it’s pretty clear, I ain’t no size two

But I can shake it, shake it Like I’m supposed to do

‘Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase

And all the right junk in all the right places

 

I see the magazine workin’ that Photoshop

We know that shit ain’t real C’mon now, make it stop

If you got beauty, beauty, just raise ’em up

‘Cause every inch of you is perfect From the bottom to the top

 

Yeah, my mama she told me don’t worry about your size

She says, “Boys like a little more booty to hold at night.”

You know I won’t be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll

So if that’s what you’re into then go ahead and move along

 

Because you know I’m All about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass

 

Hey! I’m bringing booty back

Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that

No, I’m just playing. I know you think you’re fat

But I’m here to tell ya Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top

 

Yeah my mama she told me don’t worry about your size

She says, “Boys like a little more booty to hold at night.”

You know I won’t be no stick figure silicone Barbie doll

So if that’s what you’re into then go ahead and move along

 

Because you know I’m All about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass, no treble

I’m all about that bass ‘Bout that bass

 

…………….and it goes on to repeat itself several times.

 

Now first of all everyone has the right to express their opinion, after all that is exactly what I am doing too. I just think she has such a great framework of a song and has ever so slightly ruined it by creating a divide with women.

The main reasons for this are the following lyrics:

 

Yeah, it’s pretty clear, I ain’t no size two But I can shake it, shake it Like I’m supposed to do ‘Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase And all the right junk in all the right places

 

Girls, if you happen to be a healthy and happy size 2 then that is what you are supposed to shake. We are not ‘supposed’ to be anything but healthy and happy. Girls with a bit of ‘junk’ are not on another team to extra slim girls. We are all on team ‘Girl’.

All boys like different things so not all boys will chase that ‘boom boom’, besides, most ‘boys’ (men if we raise our standards slightly) will be most attracted to a woman who is confident in herself and strong minded. You should work on your body for you and only you, a guy will chase you more so for putting yourself first.

 

She then goes on to bring up such an amazing point and absolutely smashes it with the next verse:

 

I see the magazine workin’ that Photoshop We know that shit ain’t real C’mon now, make it stop If you got beauty, beauty, just raise ’em up ‘Cause every inch of you is perfect From the bottom to the top

 

Absolutely! I couldn’t agree more. What a great message. Every inch of you is perfect, so love yourself and treat yourself with nothing but love and respect. This is irrelevant of being bigger or smaller.

 

Then the bridge is simply her opinion on people who are trying to fit ‘perfect’, it’s just saying move along if you are looking for a human barbie, which is fair enough because she is simply saying that isn’t her.

 

So my last piece of song to dissect is:

 

I’m bringing booty back Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches that No, I’m just playing. I know you think you’re fat But I’m here to tell ya Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top

 

To nitpick ever so slightly, booty has been brought already, long ago by the likes of J-Lo and Beyonce and then of course Nicki Minaj (real or not). Booty is around and in fashion so….are you bringing it back? I am not so sure. Now, she says she is just playing after calling slim girls ‘skinny bitches’ but, come on, you are saying every inch is perfect and then again separating slim girls from curvy girls.

 

All of us are amazing. Skinny, Big, Curvy, Straight, big on top, big on bottom, small on top, small on bottom. I love that the world is starting to highlight that the perfect body comes in all shapes and sizes but that doesn’t mean we should tarnish any other shape by doing so just because it was the last in fashion. What we should aim to do is preach the importance of empowering each other for being true to ourselves and loving ourselves and each other. We do NOT reach empowerment by being better than someone else, we just stay in a vicious circle of low self-esteem.

 

So, I ask all of you beautiful Lionesses and of course Lions, look for the beauty in others and praise them for it, by doing so you will find even more beauty in yourself.

 

Meghan Trainor has released a great song with what I am sure was great intent, I just think we need to make ourselves one big massive group, or pride if you will, of perfectly, beautifully different and unique Lionesses.

 

What do you think Pride?

A little bit of crazy!

So I actually had some fun this week helping some of with you with your profiles, some really great ‘about me’s’ coming together and some really funny reads. Most importantly you are sounding like Lionesses. Keep them coming!

So on to our next disaster. As I do on occasion I decided to disappear for a month and go and see Thailand and Bali with a friend. The week before I left I started talking to a particularly nice looking guy who was a personal trainer (normally I keep away from PT’s having worked as one myself but this one was very pretty). He was polite and charming and asked if we could meet up the following week. I told him I was away for a month and he asked if we could keep in touch while I was away which was sweet.

Whilst I was away he would send me the occasional message asking how I was getting on and asking for some pictures of the landscapes. This was a nice request because it was something he was interested in and enjoyed seeing, he was taking an interest in my trip and he wasn’t asking me to send a load of pics of myself – which would have completely put me off of him.

I didn’t overhear from him either which was just as well because I was living in paradise but he was in contact enough so I looked forward to a message from him. I had something nice to look forward to going back home.

When I got home he didn’t waste any time arranging a day for us to go and have a drink. We met up and managed to park next to each other. He was even better looking in real life and greeted me with a hug. We walked into the bar and he got us a drink and we sat down. He didn’t once take his coat off which was a bit strange but it was winter.

The conversation just flowed which was nice, he actually had depth and substance and asked a lot of questions. We were laughing and talking so much that before we knew it the place was closing. We walked back to our cars and he hugged me goodbye – most importantly he didn’t try to kiss me on the first date! He messaged me later on saying he had a nice time and we arranged to meet again at the weekend. Amazing, a date that actually went well!

That weekend he messaged me to tell me he wouldn’t know for sure if he was free because his Uncle was in hospital and being moved to a hospital further away, he didn’t know what time he would be back and asked to let me know. We didn’t meet up. He messaged me to rearrange. You can never question a hospital visit – even if they give you that suspicious feeling you just have to accept it, but it was giving me a suspicious feeling.

So we came to the next day we were supposed to meet up. I didn’t hear anything from him. Nothing. Irritated, I messaged him nearer the time – something a woman should NOT have to do. I heard nothing. So I made other plans and went to see a friend. It was so strange, he didn’t contact me or reply, had he just lost interest?

The next day I received a message ‘so I had the worst day yesterday’. ‘Great do I care?’ Is what I should have said but I was unfortunately alot nicer at the time so I asked what happened and he called me. He explained how there was a load of stuff that happened at work and that he was trying to be pushed out of the gym and people were blaming him for stuff that he didn’t do and his manager was trying to set him up and he was just so angry after it all and bla bla bla bla bla bla bla! I AM SORRY, YOU WERE JUST SO ANGRY YOU FORGOT ABOUT ME????? I was not impressed at all. After him going on and on about his ‘woe is me’ story he said ‘I need to make it up to you, what happened wasn’t cool, are you free tomorrow night so we can meet up?’ I reluctantly agreed (idiot) and said I would give him one more chance (idiot again). We set a time and place to meet.

So the next day came and again I hadn’t heard from him, so I messaged him to confirm. He said could we make it an hour later he needed to get in the bath he was so tired he had slept. WHAT???? I said to him if he was so tired we could always give it a miss. He responded by telling me that it would probably be best as he was so angry from more issues at work he felt like he just wanted to punch and smash things up……! I instantly pictured our wedding and a life of happiness with this man……..or rather I rolled my eyes with boredom – what on earth? You just want to punch and smash things up? Do you expect sympathy? I never spoke to him again. I actually judge myself for giving him a second chance and wish I could say it was the last time I tolerated such poor behaviour from a male, thankfully for you guys it isn’t so there are still some very ridiculous stories to tell you.

One thing I have learnt ladies, is that when a man is truly interested in you he will make the effort and do everything he can not to let you down. If you find yourself hearing excuses and being messed around just cut him loose. You are better than that and deserve more. He should be trying to impress you and show you how valuable you are. If he isn’t then he isn’t invested and you are setting yourself up for misery. Always remember – when the heart wants something it finds a thousand ways, when it doesn’t it finds a thousand excuses’. That is the most truthful thing I have learnt.

Another extremely valuable lesson I have learnt and will at some point go into greater detail about is to always trust your instinct. Our intuition is there for a reason. Listen to it and let it guide you. Don’t give away too much too soon, time will tell you everything you need to know but never ignore your instincts. They are there for a reason and are never wrong – paranoia can be wrong but your instincts – never!