Live as a Lioness

Hey Pride,

 

Sorry I have been gone a while, I’ve been making films and documentaries and all sorts.  So I have attached a link to my vlog on here.  Check it out, then check some more out and let me know what you think!

 

Miss you all Pride!

 

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You!

What do you believe?  In the very core of your being what feels right?  Does the world you live in back up those beliefs?  Or does it contradict those beliefs?

 

Sometimes you can look around you and realise not a lot makes sense.  Money doesn’t make sense.  Stuff doesn’t make sense.  Working as a pawn in someone else’s dream doesn’t make sense.

 

Sometimes it does make sense, sometimes you are in harmony with how you feel and the world’s very rotation is comfortably making sense to you.

 

Where does it make sense?  Where does it not make sense?  Can you feel where inside of you that happens?  Do you understand that you are being shown what is right and wrong right from inside of you?  Or do you ignore it as nonsense?

 

We have only one way of knowing what is right and wrong and sometimes that is buried deep down underneath our thoughts, our insecurities, our stresses and our busy lives.  But it is there.  Every answer you ever need from the most knowledgable source we have access to is inside of us.  Let it confuse you, let it help you, let it freak you the hell out but LISTEN TO IT.  Trust yourself.  Making mistakes is all part of it.  One day it just won’t matter but it will matter if you avoided yourself in case it mattered.

 

Listen and Live.

 

We are amazing Pride!

It’s coming to the end of another year and many of us will think about our New Year’s Resolutions soon.  We will decide what it is we want and how we are going to get it, then come January 1st it’s all go, go, go.

 

This year I have a different approach for you all.  Think about what it is you want to change, think about the promises you want to make for yourself.  Write them down, imagine them and pretend they are real. Feels great right?

 

Now I want you to choose just one of your resolutions and I want you to write down or think of 5 actions that will help you achieve these.  For example, you want to lose 6kg by May.  5 actions could be:

  • Go to the gym/exercise 3 days a week.
  • Cut out chocolate 6 days a week.
  • Eat more vegetables.
  • Buy a dress a size smaller.
  • Take a picture of yourself as you are now for your before and after photo.

 

Now, notice that all of these are actions.  They all require your doing.  Now instead of picking the easiest one and doing it and then ignoring the rest I want you to pick a day, this week, and commit yourself to taking action on this chosen day toward your goals, using at least 3 of your ‘harder’ actions.  For example, on Thursday you could commit to the following:

  • No chocolate after 3pm.
  • Each meal must include a vegetable of some sort.
  • You will walk up the escalator on the way to work.

 

That is it.  That is all you have to commit to.  Just one day.  If you find it easy perhaps add in the action of taking that picture of yourself, or browse dresses online and see what you would like to buy.  Then don’t force yourself to do anything else until the following week….unless, you want to.  Know that the other days you put in extra work are optional, if you do an extra day the first week but not the second then that is OK!  But, on that one day you have promised to yourself, you must stay committed to your goals.

 

There are less than 4 weeks left of this year which means that by the time we meet January 1st, you will have already been working on your Resolutions for 3 weeks.  You will already be prepared.  You will be on your way!  This will help you to feel organised and motivated because you won’t be starting everything from scratch and it will feel good to continue your efforts.

 

Another quick example just to explore different goals is the idea that perhaps you want a new career, perhaps you want to earn more money or bag an interview with a dream company or even start your own business.  5 actions could be as follows:

  • Write down what you would like to be doing and where clearly and in detail.
  • Research 10 companies that you would like to work for and find a contact name of a senior person relevant to the role for each.
  • Write a list of qualities and skills you have and where you see yourself in 10 years
  • Write a letter explaining who you are, what you want to do in your career and why you are good at it.
  • Go to work imagining you have your dream role, dress the part, talk the part and put in the same effort you would if you had it already.

 

There, 5 actions.  They may seem big or small to you, but either way, they are 5 actions that will get you moving forward.  Pick one day and again choose 3 of those.  For example, on Wednesday you will:

  • Write down what you would like to be doing and where, as listed above.
  • Choose an outfit for work tomorrow that makes you feel worthy of this new role.  You want to feel empowered and successful so choose an outfit that will help with this.
  • Research one company, find out who to contact (choose someone senior that has influence in the business) and put it in to a document on your computer so you an add to it the week after with more companies.

 

This is me stripping it down to the bare minimum.  Any extra work you want to do is great but the idea is that we don’t want any of it to seem daunting.  Get your body into the beginning of a habit, a habit that will move you towards your goals in a realistic and sustainable manner.

 

Let’s start our New Year’s Resolutions in preparation for the New Year, so that we can potentially spend January 1st recovering from the celebrations and with a restful mindset knowing that you are on your way!

 

Onwards we go Pride!

 

 

 

Reflection

There are often times when I wonder what I would tell a younger version of myself. I think about all the things that would help me have the upper hand, all the beauty tips that would make me prettier, all the food I shouldn’t be eating, all the courage I should fake towards bullies, all the times that I shouldn’t have shut my mouth and more importantly, all the times I should.  

As I think about this question more and more, one word sticks out, more and more.
This one word of advice gives you a powerful key in the world, it gives you the upper hand, educates you, makes you prettier, healthier, stronger, hands you top secret information and enters you into a secret underground world of truth into the minds of others.
What is this magical word?
LISTEN!
Yes, listen. It really is that simple. Think about it, yes especially the ‘mouth almighty’s’ out there, what good does non-stop talking do? What do you learn about others? What help do you give others? What other view can you gain if all that is being heard are YOUR opinions, YOUR beliefs, YOUR point of views or YOUR secret recipes? 
None.  
What friend can seek solace in opening up to you about their troubles and worries if you won’t let them finish a sentence!
What knowledge can you gain against your enemies if you constantly lay out a blueprint to your mind instead?
What can you learn if all you do is repeat what you have learned so far?
What respect can you gain if others feel that their say isn’t important around you?
Listen. Listen and learn.  
Stop interrupting. Stop picking up your phone when someone is talking to you. Stop listening only to wait for your turn to speak. Stop going on and on and on!
Now before I go any further, I would like to admit that I am quite the chatterbox, I always want to give my opinion or help someone with advice from knowledge I have gained. However, I have learnt to listen. I have learnt to activate a switch in my head and send a signal that says ‘shhhhh, just listen, forget what you are bursting to say and REALLY LISTEN.  
If you want people to actually listen to you then you have to give people respect and value what they have to say too.  
I learn a lot about people by listening. I learn who they are in between their words. I learn their strength in between their sorrows, I learn their weaknesses in between their excuses, I learn their compassion in between their fussing. I get to see some extraordinary qualities that I would miss if I did not shut my trap for once and pay attention (N.B. Paying attention is the most important part). I would also miss some ignorant qualities, some qualities that make me realise that that person is not who I held them to be. Most importantly I get to know someone, I get to walk in their shoes and learn their stories. Good or bad I’m grateful that they want to share them with me and I’m grateful that I paid attention and listened to them.
Thanks for listening pride!

Just trying to fit in!

When I was younger all I wanted was to be normal. I wanted to fit in. I didn’t want to be singled out. I wanted to be liked and blend in with everyone.  
I didn’t want the bullies to take a shine to me, I didn’t want them to scream in my ears in the playground, circle around my friends so that I would stand alone, make up embarrassing rumours about me, threaten me, start on me or throw the things that hurt me in my face. I didn’t want to be humiliated. I just wanted to be normal. I just wanted to fit in.
When I lost my mum at 13, I didn’t want to be the girl whose mum had just died, I didn’t want everyone to look at me, pity me, know that I was the girl with no mum. I didn’t want to be the talk of the school. I just wanted to be normal. I just wanted to fit in.
As I got older and faced monsters in the shape of grown-ups, I didn’t want to be the damaged woman, I didn’t want to be the one with a troubled childhood, I didn’t want to be the one that came with baggage, I didn’t want to be the one scarred by the actions of people doing wrong, I didn’t want to be pitied and have eyes rolled behind my back. I just wanted to be normal. I just wanted to fit in
But I wasn’t normal.
I felt far from normal and I was FAR from normal. I realised that by hiding how different I was that I was actually crushing my own soul, by trying to be like everyone else I was becoming nobody, by fitting in I was losing any meaning of life.  
I am not normal and nor would I want to be, I am the only one of me. Why would I want to be invisible? Why would I want to live my life to be accepted by other people that are no better than me? Why would I base what is ‘right’ on other people’s opinions? Why would I want to hand my worth to someone else when it is the most valuable diamond of this earth?
I wouldn’t. I don’t want to be anyone but me. I don’t want to be anything other than who I am. I don’t want to concern myself with the opinion of ‘they’. I want to be every part of me. I want to feel every drop of my blood feed my body. I want to think every thought that runs through my mind. I want to speak every truth that flows from my heart and I want to be a platform for my soul to give meaning to this world.
I want to live. I want to tell others to live too. I want to help everyone see how completely not normal they really are. I want everyone to know that a light shines in them with colours that no one has ever seen before.
Realising that no part of me is normal is when I truly began to fit in. I fit in to me. To my own skin. To my own world. And it’s fantastic.
Be you.
Fit in with you!
We are all part of one seriously abnormal Pride fellow Lions and Lionesses! 

Ruthlessly forgiving.

Forgiveness is about you, not the other person. If someone has disrespected you, hurt you, wronged you or treated you in a way that you don’t deserve it is important to be able to forgive them and not hold on to any anger, however, that doesn’t mean they deserve a place in your life. That doesn’t mean you have to allow them your time or company. That is for you to assess yourself. It is not about holding a grudge or being stubborn, it is about you having standards and boundaries. It is about establishing who deserves your time and who doesn’t. You can love someone without being near them or giving them any time at all. If they do not appreciate you for the magnificent being that you are then why are you wasting your time? Why are you using your energy on them instead of someone who will appreciate you. 
You don’t have to go cutting a load of people out of your life but it’s helpful to observe those that are around you and how they treat you, without anger, without resentment, without expectation. Just know what you will and will not tolerate and make no exception! Forgive those who wrong you because they cannot possibly see what is in front of them. But they will, eventually, whether you know it or not…..but that’s none of our business!
Only accepting the best for ourselves Pride!

Do!

You are always being shown the way.  When something feels right deep down then it is right for you.  Sometimes you will be led to challenges and other times to rewards but you will never be led astray by listening to your gut instinct.

This life isn’t supposed to be a straight path on a red carpet covered in rose petals.  It is supposed to take you up and down, high and low, far and wide.  Go with the flow, be guided through the forest, up the mountains, overseas.  Why now?  This life is for living right?

We are all headed to the same inevitable ending, what a shame it would be to get there perfectly preserved never having taken a risk.  Why is that an important choice?  Why is it so necessary to play it safe?  If you have answers to these questions that excite you and feel right then sure, go for that route in life, but deep down, if you strive for adventure, for fun, for excitement or for LIFE.  Follow your heart, listen to your gut and let your head advise you.  Go live an amazing life!

Live live live!

Follow your heart.  If it feels right then it is the right path for you to take, don’t worry about the money, don’t worry about what others think and don’t wait for something better, live now.  Don’t miss out on something good because it’s not the way you imagined it, keep your expectations relaxed and your standards high and the world will treat you right! 

Finding happiness, leave no nook or cranny unturned.

We all want happiness right? We all want to feel that feeling of pure joy spreading through every fibre of our being.

How do we go about doing it? Some will travel, some will party, some will spend time with family or friends, and some will search every nook and cranny for a little taste of the good stuff.

It might be an interview for a job that you really want, so you turn up and do your very best to impress them.

You may be looking for Prince Charming so you scan every corner of every space you move through, making sure you don’t miss the chance to lock eyes with him. You make sure you appear fun and pretty at all times so he will see how worthy you are.

You may want a large circle of friends that adore you so you go out of your way for them and always agree with what they want to do or what they say, because you are ‘easy going like that’.

But has doing any of those things led to true happiness? I doubt it. What it normally leads to is denial. Denial about how little you value yourself, denial about how little you love yourself and denial about how unworthy you really believe you are. Denial then leads to excuses and before you know it you are in a vicious cycle keeping you securely locked into a false sense of happiness whilst you skate across a cracked frozen lake.

If you are going for a job interview, make sure you interview them too, you are going to be putting your time and effort into this company, you need to make sure it is the right place for you to spend so much time. Let them see who you really are, that should be enough alone for them to hire you. Being what you think someone else wants you to be implies you can read minds, you can’t so give it up!

Love isn’t a game of hide and seek, don’t waste your time searching for it. Instead enjoy time with yourself, enjoy being you, every part of you. If you find that hard then try new ways – speak to a counsellor, walk in the park, hug yourself and tell yourself in the mirror how amazing you are. Stop waiting for a man to save you, Prince Charming will find you when you become a Princess and Princesses don’t need anyone else to tell them that they are royal!

If your friends only adore you when you are people pleasing or acting as their servant then they aren’t your friends. True friends want the best for you and give as much as they receive – maybe in different ways but it is a balance nevertheless.  

All this work you put in to convince others you are worth something could be spent on discovering your own worth. Expecting someone else to save you is as beneficial as waiting for a ferry at a bus stop. Put time, money and effort into your self-growth and you will see the things you want so bad are actually manifesting around you naturally.  
Happiness comes from within you!  Find it inside of you and stop looking for someone to save you because you are the only person who can, how exciting!
Standing strong on our feet pride!

You got the power!

We have got to take responsibility for ourselves and teach our children to do the same.  
Imagine if in every argument we had, instead of throwing accusations and blame towards someone else, we actually took responsibility for our own feelings and actions.
You have control of your life you just have to actually take it. If someone is making you upset or not treating you right then why on earth are you still bothering? Why are you attacking them for not changing or behaving the way you want them to. Take responsibility for yourself and recognise that you do not want to be there and you want to find someone who treats you in line with how you want to be treated.
When someone is making your life ‘hell’ change your behaviour in the situation.  
Yes it might be scary and feel hard but its the only way you will really get what you want and teach others how to do the same.  
We have got to stop blaming the world for how our life is and realise that we are shaping our own life all the time.  
Set your standards, don’t lower them for anyone and be ready to make the decisions your life will require from you.
Your life, your way pride!